In lieu of a steady stream of departures from the playoff roster, Boom Goes the Dynamite General Manager Jeff Keiser (Avon, Ct.) announced this afternoon that the two-time defending CSC Champions will open the postseason tonight with a female lineup consisting of women 5-foot-2 or shorter. The Diminutive Dames will be 4-11 outfielder Emily Wood (Wausau, Wis.), 5-1 second baseman Emily Hennen (Prior Lake, Minn.), 5-1 1/4 catcher Casey Kurtt (Lakeland, Minn.) and 5-2 third baseman Andrea Smith (Golden Valley, Minn.)
Wood and Hennen were late additions to the roster as relative giants Lisa Hardy (Hopkins, Minn.), Alicia Jerome (Kirkland, Wash.) and Meghan Potter (Hibbing, Minn.) pulled themselves out of the lineup for a myriad of reasons.
"One thing's for sure. The sightlines for this game will be terrific," Jeannie/Cowboy Bob Superfan of the Year frontrunner Michelle Train (Taunton, Minn.) said. "I'm short, but not that short. I won't have any trouble seeing over the heads of those little peanuts."
"You can call us whatever you want," the self-proclaimed Lilliputian Ladies said in a press release. "Call us dwarves, midgets, munchkins, shorties, half-pints, knee-highs, little people, peewees, pygmys, runts, shrimps, squirts or tots. It doesn't matter to us. We may be short, but don't sell us short. Sure, we need phone books to see over the dashboard, but we'll kick your tall asses."
Keiser recognized the historical significance of an all-gnome lineup, but did not want to make a big issue out of it, saying, "At least we're not a coed basketball team."
Boom Goes the Dynamite, featuring The Smurfettes, takes on Foul Balls tonight at 6:10 p.m., at Lake Nokomis Diamond #7.
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