Your 2008 Boom Goes the Dynamite Preseason Team Roster

Mr. Heavyfoot is back. Why? It's softball season and what better place than here to post satirical game stories from everybody's favorite slowpitch softball team Boom Goes the Dynamite. Things have mightily changed since we last heard from Boom, namely the team's controversial decision to pull up their stakes from the godawful CSC Sports league in favor of the fences and real grass of the St. Louis Park Softball League. Boom will be competing on Tuesday nights in the SLP Co-Rec D League at Aquila and Dakota parks.

So, without further ado, may we present to you the 2008 edition of Boom Goes the Dynamite (subject to change):

Alyssa Downing (UT) - appears on the preseason Tory Kukowski Memorial Rookie of the Year Watch List
Steve Geller (P/OF) - will undoubtedly be swinging for the fences at every at-bat; looking for first injury-free season since 2004
Lisa Hardy (1B) - may be a part-timer in 2008; worked on her footspeed in offseason
Jeff Keiser (P/OF) - looking to prove Beth Kurtt wrong when she voted him as the Nick Joos Disappointment of the Year in 2007; just happy to be playing on real grass
Casey Kurtt (C/2B) - returns to full-time status after giving birth to an astonishingly-cute baby boy (paternity tests pending)
Kevin Kurtt (SS/UT) - packed on some ample winter weight in the offseason to bolster his inconsistent power hitting; will battle to keep his starting position at SS
Ryan Maus (OF) - appears on the preseason Shane Sandersfeld Memorial MVP Watch List; will his pending unemployment be a distraction this season?
Kevin Noth (OF/1B) - defending Shane Sandersfeld Memorial MVP; out to prove to management that he's worth a lucrative multi-year contract (management not so sure about that)
Meghan Potter (OF) - preseason frontrunner for the Gerry DiNardo/Glen Mason Comeback Player of the Year award
Matt Slieter (UT) - unknown commodity; a wily journeyman who's looking to prove that not all men's basketball SIDs are physically and mentally fragile
Andrea Smith (3B) - still short, but now a short, high-powered attorney who will serve as the franchise's general counsel for all contract negotiations
Jim Strick (UT) - tall; has plans on replacing Kurtt at shortstop just like he replaced Kurtt as men's hockey SID
Emily Wood (UT) - enters season on disabled list; out to prove she's more than just a sparkplug

Key Additions: Alyssa Downing, Matt Slieter, Jim Strick
Key Losses: Kyle Coughlin, Alicia Jerome, Tory Kukowski
Possible Subs: Cahty Behr, Garry Bowman, Chris Cords, Phil Esten, Katie Fornasiere, Kristin Hill, Matt Schroeder, Nate Selvig, Tyler Thomson, Michelle Train, Doug Vose, Kristine Yorde
Tentative Season Opener: April 29