Kevin Noth's Fist Pumps Not Enough as Boom Ends Season with Semifinal Loss

"Season's over!"
- Fan Jim Kurtt (Waterloo, Iowa) said mockingly following Boom Goes the Dynamite's season-ending loss

Boom Goes the Dynamite saw its 2007 season come to a close last night as the two-time 2006 CSC Champions posted its second consecutive third-place finish with an 18-3 win over the Ligers and an 11-10 loss to eventual champions Chicks with RAC's. Boom rode stellar batting, fielding and fist-pumping performances from perennial playoff MVP Kevin Noth (Norwalk, Wis.) to come within a run and three outs of advancing to the championship game, but it wasn't enough as Chicks with RAC's scored with a walk-off double in the bottom of the seventh inning.

"Another CSC banner just wasn't in the cards for us in 2007," team president Jeff Keiser (Avon, Ct.) said. "Maybe we lost the fire to win after capturing those two titles in 2006. I know I want to win more than ever, but I'm just not seeing the drive and focus out of a lot of our players. You know who I'm talking about. There was (Meghan) Potter reverting to her Little Miss Lackadaisical alter ego; (Alicia) Jerome (pictured at right) apparently forgetting that she's a former D-I softball player; our president, shortstop and two-time MVP (Kevin Kurtt) hitting like (Michelle) Train; and (Matt) Schroeder all but abandoning the team in the latter half of the season. I just wish that we could all play like Noth in the playoffs."

Noth was far and away Boom's standout player in all areas of the field, hitting multiple home runs, entertaining the five fans in attendance with a handful of defensive gems and attempting to pump up Boom with a plethora of high-fives, fist bumps and pumps, and motivational phrases.

"Noth was amazing out there," semifinal co-Goat of the Game Meghan Potter (Hibbing, Minn.) said. "His play was great and all, but it was his passion that really flabbergasted me. I wish I could muster up the courage to hustle or the feelings to care about the outcome like he does, but I just haven't been the same player since I led my Esko Ice Summer Fastpitch team to the AFA Nationals in 1997 and 1998."

Noth's playoff prowess shined again as the balding cyclist raised his postseason batting average to .809 with clutch home runs in both contests last night. Noth's regular season batting average remains at a very Mario Mendoza-esque .213.

"It's my job as Boom historian to note that Kevin Noth has now been named the Corner Bar Co-Player of the Game in four of the last seven playoff games," Boom Superfan Award hopeful Beth Kurtt (Minneapolis, Minn.) (pictured with Superfan hopeful daughter Laura, shortstop son Kevin and Superfan hopeful and team heckler husband Jim at left) said. "Why can't my Kevin be like Kevin Noth? I sure as heck didn't teach him to hit like he did last night."

Not all in attendance were thrilled by Noth's play last night. Goldy's Gang Mascot of the Year hopeful Cooper (Zimmerman, Minn.) (pictured at right) was notably displeased with Noth in the quarterfinal vs. the Ligers, so much so that the feisty miniature Australian shepherd chased Noth around the basepaths, doing her best impression of that fan who ran around the bases with Hank Aaron after Aaron hit his 715th home run. Maggie, the other mascot at last night's game, was unavailable to comment on Cooper's supposed distaste for Noth.

In addition to his out-of-this-world hitting performance, Noth provided a pair of web gems with a diving catch of a foul popup and a jaw-dropping double play at second base - both in the semifinal against Chicks with RAC's. Noth nearly recorded his fourth baserunning/base coaching gaffe of the season in the seventh inning by almost over-running Kyle Coughlin between first and second base, but the CSC league leader in strikeouts hit the brakes and chased Coughlin all the way around the bases for his second home run of the contest. Cooper was appropriately leashed.

Although happy with his play, team management is now bracing for Noth's contract demands in the offseason. Boom's lowest-paid player at $230,000, Noth will certainly command salary numbers consistent with Boom's other aging veterans - Kyle Coughlin ($750,000), Jeff Keiser ($3 million) Steve Geller ($3.125 million).

“I need to feed my family,” Noth said at a press conference this morning. “They offered me $500,000 for three years. That’s not going to cut it. If [owner Kevin] Kurtt wants to see my family fed, he better cough up some money."

In addition to Noth, Boom heads into the offseason with four other players entering free agency. Wily journeyman Kyle Coughlin (Golden Valley, Minn.), slugger and utility player Steve Geller (Port Jefferson, N.Y.), knocked-up former infielder Casey Kurtt (Lakeland, Minn.) and Disappointment of the Year frontrunner Meghan Potter (Hibbing, Minn.) became free agents at 12:01 a.m., Central time.

"We're prepared to negotiate with some of our players, but not all of them," general manager Jeff Keiser said. "We hear Coughlin is mulling retirement, so we won't have to worry about his grandiose opinions of himself clouding negotiations. That's nice. Geller keeps mentioning that he was 13-for-15 in the playoffs, but we're just not sure how much he has left in the tank. We'll see how Casey bounces back from popping out a kid. If she calls it quits, we always have (Emily) Wood. Then there's Potter (pictured at left).

"I'll be honest with you. I messed up. Maybe I was impressed by her stats from her days at Hibbing High School, but I killed our salary cap by giving that full-time tanner, part-time hustler $17.2 million for this season. It sure will be nice to have her salary off the books. Unless she's willing to take a pay cut, Ms. Potter is free to look elsewhere."

Below is the projected 2008 Boom Goes the Dynamite roster (contract terms included):
P - TBD
C - Emily Wood (signed thru 2008 - 2 yr/$2.3 mil)
1B - Lisa Hardy (signed thru 2009 - 3 yr/$5.2 mil)
2B - Alicia Jerome (signed thru 2010 - 4 yr/$18.1 mil)
3B - Andrea Smith (signed thru 2014 - 8 yr/$82 mil)
SS - Kevin Kurtt (signed thru 2011 - 6 yr/$114 mil)
OF - Jeff Keiser (signed thru 2009 - 5 yr/$15 mil)
OF - Ryan Maus (signed thru 2008 - terms undisclosed)
OF - TBD
OF - TBD

Potential signings: Steve Geller (P/UT), Kevin Noth (UT), Tyler Thomson (OF), Alicia Jerome's neighbor (??), Matt Schroeder (OF), Tory Kukowski (OF), Casey Kurtt (IF), Katie Fornasiere (IF), Kristine Yorde (IF), Chris Cords (UT), Peyton N. Owens III (OF), Chris Lagasse (C)

Notes
• Boom out-scored its opponents 238-158 in 19 games in the 2007 season.
• Corner Bar Male Player of the Game (both games): Kevin Noth
• Corner Bar Female Player of the Game (Ligers): Emily Wood
• Corner Bar Female Player of the Game (Chicks with RAC's): Andrea Smith
• Goat of the Game (Ligers): Cooper
• Goat of the Game (Chicks with RAC's): Lisa Hardy and Meghan Potter
• Boom has now finished last three seasons with one-run games (2006 Summer: 18-17 vs. Yep; 2007 Spring: 10-11 vs. Cleveland Steamers; 2007 Summer: 10-11 vs. Chicks with RAC's)
• In addition for her apparent dislike of Kevin Noth, Cooper showed her distaste for the Corner Bar's chips by throwing up a purple one on the sidewalk.
• Rookie, Tory Kukowski Memorial Intern and serial smiler Ryan Maus (Northfield, Minn.) made what many believe to be the best catch in the outfield since Jeff Leach (Sartell, Minn.) patrolled the field for Boom's predecessor I'm With Stupid.
• Fans in attendance: Pam Hardy, Beth Kurtt, Casey Kurtt, Jim Kurtt, Michelle Train
• Fan standings: Michelle Train (4 appearances), Beth Kurtt (3 apps.), Casey Kurtt (3 apps.), Emily Wickstrom (3 apps.), Jim Kurtt (2 apps.), Pam Hardy (2 apps.), Chris Cords (1 app.), Katie Fornasiere (1 app.), Laura Kurtt (1 app.), Jay Larson (1 app.), Kristine Yorde (1 app.)
• Mascots in attendance: Cooper, Maggie
• Mascot standings: Maggie (3 appearances), Cooper (2 apps.), Koda (2 apps.)
• Summer season combined attendance: 22
• Summer season combined mascot attendance: 7