Noth Announces Lawsuit of craigslist Following Boom's 17-2 Shellacking of Lucky Strikes

Boom Goes the Dynamite picked up its second win of the season with a 17-2 spanking of Lucky Strikes last night, but the celebration was short-lived for right fielder Kevin Noth (Madison, Wis.) as the hair-challenged team strikeout leader announced his intention to file a lawsuit of craigslist after an incident involving his $5 cleats (photo below) bought on the online community. Noth, 0-for-3 on the night, tripped and fell while running to first base in the second inning, but reached base on a throwing error by the Lucky Strikes shortstop.

"Let's face it. I got ripped off," Noth said from a press conference at Fat Lorenzo's Pizza. "I spent good money on cleats that I expected to take me to the next level in my softball career. That craigslist guy promised me big things that did not include me sprawled out face-first on the first-base line. The law offices of Curtis K. Walker have been contacted. Craiglist, consider yourself sued."

The spring season has not been kind to Wisconsin native and Big Ten Fantasy Football League runner-up Noth. In last week's 13-5 loss to longtime rival Yellow Snow, Noth struck out and went 1-for-4 in front of wife Lori and infant son Cameron. Against Lucky Strikes, Noth whiffed again and failed to get the ball out of the infield for the second consecutive week. For his "efforts," Noth was named the Nick Joos/M. Lochrem Goat of the Week.

"It's flat-out embarrassing," slugger and outfield bully Tory Kukowski (Lewiston, Minn.) said. "I thought after his game-winning walkoff hit in last year's championship game we'd see a whole new Kevin Noth. Boy, was I wrong. All I see is a guy in $5 cleats lying in the dirt. That's just not Boom Goes the Dynamite softball."

Noth's hijinks notwithstanding, Boom broke out of its slump with the entire lineup (sans Noth) showing the offensive prowess that paced the franchise to a league-record 23-game win streak from August 2005 to April 2007. Kukowski went 4-for-4 with a home run, Week 1 Goat Jeff Keiser (Avon, Ct.) finally got his bat going with a round-tripper and four hits, third baseman Andrea Smith (Golden Valley, Minn.) made her debut with a strong all-around showing and wily veteran Kyle Coughlin (Eden Prairie, Minn.) continued being great with his first injury-free three-week span since the seventh grade.

Keiser, acting team president and general manager, made several moves in the batting order and the defensive lineup to provide a much-needed spark to the club. Keiser moved his previously weak bat lower in the lineup and promoted the surprisingly well-hitting and popup-free Kukowski to the No. 3 spot. The move worked as both outfielders led the team in slugging percentage and runs scored.

Two-time Boom Player of the Week Meghan Potter (Hibbing, Minn.) continued her torrid start to the season, reminding some of her six home run, 34 RBI sophomore season at North Dakota State. In addition, second baseman Katie Fornasiere (Maple Grove, Minn.), daughter of Golden Gopher assistant baseball coach, gave Boom some speed on the basepaths that was absent in recent weeks with the attitude of Lisa "I run when I want to run" Hardy (Hopkins, Minn.).

In injury news, pitcher Steve Geller (Port Jefferson, N.Y.) suffered a mild separated shoulder on a baserunning blunder in the third inning. He is listed as day-to-day. Crissy Potter (Hibbing Minn.), last week's second baseman, missed last night's game with a concussion and general body pain after shortstop Kevin Kurtt's body-check at second base in the game vs. Yellow Snow.

The rout of Lucky Strikes sets up a key early-season match-up with league leader ERAC (3-0), a team comprised of steel workers, longshoremen, Venezuelan infielders and single mothers. Two-time defending CSC Champion Boom Goes the Dynamite faces ERAC at 8:20 p.m., on Monday, May 7, at Lake Nokomis Diamond #4.

Notes:
• Boom has out-scored its opponents 41-21 through three games this season.
• Kyle Coughlin made his first career appearance at first base.
• CSC continued its utter disregard for unsafe playing conditions as play was never suspended despite the prevalence of lightning in the area.
• Katie Fornasiere reportedly made it home in time to watch Heroes.
• Casey Kurtt's belly continued to expand, apparently providing the catcher with additional power.
• Tory Kukowski's girlfriend failed to make an appearance at the third consecutive Boom game, leading some to question her actual existence.
• Jeff Keiser displayed exceptional intestinal fortitude, playing just hours after a rigorous physical therapy session to heal a real or imagined lower leg injury.
• Fans in attendance: Laura Kurtt (3 appearances), Emily Wickstrom (1 app.) - Wickstrom now eligible for the Jeannie/Cowboy Bob Superfan Award.
• Fan standings: Laura Kurtt (3 appearances), Michelle Train (2 apps.), Shane Sandersfeld (2 apps.), Lori Noth (1 app.), Cameron Noth (1 app.), Lisa Carlson (1 app.), Pam Hardy (1 app.), Emily Wickstrom (1 app.), Jim and Beth Kurtt (0 combined appearances).
• Mascots in attendance: Cooper (3 appearances)
• Mascot standings: Cooper (3 appearances), Koda (1 app.), Maggie (0 app.)

Boom Pisses Down Leg, Snaps Win Streak with Loss to Yellow Snow

The streak is over. Boom Goes the Dynamite's 23-game all-sports CSC record winning streak came to an end last night as longtime rival Yellow Snow rolled to a 13-5 win at the Lake Nokomis Athletic Fields in Minneapolis. In front of a season-high seven fans, Boom was flat-out awful in all areas of the game.

"We sucked," Team President/General Manager/Chief Scout/Social Coordinator/Director of Player Personnel Jeff Keiser (Avon, Ct.) said. "It was a complete circus."

The loss was Boom's first since the 2005 season.

"I am never - NEVER - taking my son to a Boom Goes the Dynamite softball game again," Mother of the Year candidate Lori Noth said after the game. "It started with my Kevie's putrid performance. But he didn't get his cleats from craigslist in time. He'll be a different player with those cleats. Mark my words.

"Aside from my honey-poo, Boom reminded me of the KARE-TV coed softball team. Tory Kukowski swung the bat like (Eric) Perkins; Lisa Hardy ran like (Diana) Pierce; and Jeff Keiser fielded like (Boyd) Huppert. That might not mean much to you, but the KARE team gets throttled year-in and year-out by the Cyndy Brucato-led KSTP squad. It's embarrassing and Boom Goes the Dynamite should hang their heads in shame. C'mon, Cameron. We're out of this bitch."

Streak Hits 23 as Boom Opens the Season with 19-6 Rout of Big Swingin

Using a near-flawless pitching performance from wily veteran Kyle Coughlin (Eden Prairie, Minn.), Boom Goes the Dynamite opened the 2007 season with a 19-6 rout of Big Swingin last night at the Lake Nokomis Athletic Field in Minneapolis. In front of three fans, Boom showed little signs of rust as the two-time defending CSC Champions pushed their franchise record winning streak to 23 games.

Healthy for the first time since the fall of 2003, Coughlin pitched two no-hit innings to start the game and was solid throughout from the mound, walking only one and scattering six hits. In addition to his hurling performance, the journeyman slugger went 4-for-4 at the plate with a home run in the fourth inning to put the game on ice.

"I was great," Coughlin said.

Making her debut with Boom Goes the Dynamite was rookie outfielder Meghan Potter (Hibbing, Minn.), formerly of North Dakota State and Hibbing High School. Ranking 11th on the NDSU career home run list with nine round-trippers, Potter displayed her power in the third inning with a blast to left center to give Boom a 13-3 lead.

"I give all the credit for my performance to Tom Wistrcill," Potter said at the post-game press conference at the 5-8 Club. "He gave me the best pep talk of my illustrious career during lunch today at the Library. He probably couldn't run from home to first base without sustaining multiple injuries, but he knows his stuff. Basically, he just told me that I need to be a superstar...that I'm anything but mediocre. I'm choking up just thinking about his words."

Despite the strong performances throughout the lineup, the game was marred by several bouts of little to no effort from a handful of Boom players. While Casey Kurtt (Lakeland, Minn.) showed outstanding hustle and grit, taking two foul balls off her ever-expanding belly and running out every play, infielders Lisa Hardy (Hopkins, Minn.) and Alicia Jerome (Seattle, Wash.) once again showed signs of selective hustle.

Jerome failed to run out a shallow fly ball in the fifth inning, but it was Hardy who was the most visible culprit of non-effort. A documented hothead with a history of dust-ups with opponents, teammates and umpires, Hardy nearly cost Coughlin of his home run in the fourth inning. With the oft-injured Coughlin putting months of chiropractic work on the line as he sped around the bases, Hardy refused to do more than a trot on the basepaths.

"I run when I want to run," Hardy said, evoking memories of former Minnesota Viking Randy Moss.

Boom Goes the Dynamite (1-0) continues its defense of the CSC Championship next Monday at the Lake Nokomis Athletic Field.

Notes:
• Jeff Keiser (Avon, Ct.) was perhaps the rustiest of the Boom players as the left fielder had two errors in the field and went 0-for-3 from the plate. With his putrid performance, Keiser earns the first Nick Joos/M. Lochrem Goat of the Week Award.
• Steve Geller (St. Louis Park, Minn.) was a close runner-up to Keiser in the Goat voting, failing to reach base and making an error at third base. Geller also made two outs in the fifth inning.
• Kevin Kurtt (Edina, Minn.), a two-time Boom MVP, was borderline flawless in the field with 13 assists from his shortstop position. The expectant father showed little rust at the plate, going 3-for-4 and needing just a home run for the cycle.
• Kevin Noth (Maidson, Wis.) did not receive his $5 cleats from craigslist in time for the game, providing high comedy during baserunning.
• Tory Kukowski (Lewiston, Minn.) got off to the fastest start of his Boom career despite still employing his long, looping swing. Usually good for two or three easy pop-ups in season openers, Kukowski went 3-for-4 with a fielder's choice.
• Alicia Jerome nearly started a fight in the fifth inning as she shoved Big Swingin's first baseman as she rounded the base.
• Fans in attendance: Laura Kurtt, Shane Sandersfeld, Michelle Train - all now eligible for the Jeannie/Cowboy Bob Superfan Award
• Mascots in attendance: Cooper, Koda - both now eligible for the Goldy's Gang Mascot of the Year Award.