2009 Warning Track Power Team Awards

Shane Sanderfeld Memorial MVP: Jeff Keiser (runners-up: Matt Slieter, Jim Strick)
- Comments on Keiser: He broke a franchise record for most home runs hit over the fence in a season and showed up to all but one game. The one game he missed was the worst shellacking of the year, a 13-2 pasting by the Green Giants with five girls and four guys. Was the only regular member of the team to hit even one home run over the fence, which speaks volumes to why WTP might never be able to get over the hump in a fence-league. If you took away Keiser’s bat this team might have been 7-11." "Taking a ball in the face actually improves his game." "Plays anywhere and the only power threat in the lineup."
- Comments on Slieter: "All Slieter did was hit .776 and lead the team in hits, doubles and RBI. He was as steady in the outfield, even with his plodding speed. All around, an MVP season for the journeyman."
- Comments on Strick: "Guy is a warrior." "Was going to vote for Keiser, but without Strick holding things down inside the circle, this team would be even more of a mess."
- Also receiving votes: Steve Geller (Not only is he the mayor of Dinkytown, he is also the heart of our team."), Kevin Kurtt

Duffy’s Pizza Unsung Hero Award: Michelle Train (runners-up: Alyssa Downing, Lisa Hardy)
- Comments on Train: "She played in heels!!!" "Whenever we needed another girl, Train was there to step in. Did she get the accolades for it? No. Not until now."
- Comments on Downing: "Her contributions might not always stand out in the box score, but this team would be greatly diminished without her." "Downing had more triples this year then Steve Geller (2), Ryan Maus (1), Matt Slieter (1), Kevin Noth (1) and Jim Strick (0) combined, batted .587, and tied with Steve Geller and Taylor VanderAarde for second on the home run list with one for Warning Track Power. Aggressive baserunner who either takes the extra base or gets thrown out by a mile trying (something I can appreciate) and probably the most underrated fielder on the team. Played in 15 of 17 games before basketball started and her interest waned at the end of the year."
- Comments on Lisa Hardy: "I'll have what she's having."
- Also receiving votes: Cathy Behr ("Seemingly always the spark for a big inning."), Steve Geller, Jeff Keiser ("This fella has to deal with trying to field a team every week."), Kevin Kurtt ("Quietly went about his business this season. Steady performer even if skills have slightly fallen."), Matt Slieter ("Slieter won the RBI title, almost won the batting title and despite his self-deprecation is clearly the most polished hitter on this team. If you took out the doubleheader and the first Green Giants game, he probably would have had a .900 batting for the season. Unfortunately, we will always remember the line “This is Slow Pitch Softball.”)

Victory Sports Silver Stick Award: Matt Slieter (runner-up: Steve Geller)
- Comments on Slieter: "Most consistent hitter (plus I can’t award a batting title to a guy who misses six games)."
- Comments on Geller: "This award is based on statistics and since I had the highest batting average I win it. Still, can’t shake the feeling that Slieter deserved this more then I did. He was more consistent and had less BS hits then I did and played in 16 of 17 games, compared to my paltry 12. Like I said, if not for the doubleheader and the first Green Giants game he would have batted .900." "He put up video game type numbers." "Discovered open spaces to the right of shortstop."
- Also receiving votes: Cathy Behr ("The only thing keeping Behr from being MVP was her absence from six games."), Lisa Hardy ("Sweet-swinging first baseman avoided a Justin Morneau-like late season meltdown, enjoying a career year."), Kevin Kurtt

Lady Byng Sportsmanship Award: Ryan Maus (runners-up: Kate Anderson, Amanda Hoehn, Casey Kurtt, Michelle Train, N/A)
- Comments on Maus: "Admirable job in new role as kind-hearted team representative. Fostered goodwill with umpires." "Always a great representative of WTP both on and off the field. Did anyone do more from drumming up business for flu shots, to running part of a relay marathon leg and hosting the team barbecue? This is a slam dunk." "He is the face and smile of this franchise." "I expect nothing less from the pride of Northfield." "Award should be re-named in his honor."
- Comments on Kurtt: "I’m not sure she has ever shown an instance of bad sportsmanship in her illustrious softballl career. Perhaps it’s because she doesn’t care if we win or lose."
- Comments on Train: "Tireless managerial efforts and a voice of reason in the midst of a tumultuous season."
- Comments on N/A: "I don’t think this team has any sportsman on it."

Garry Bowman Leadership Award: Jeff Keiser (runners-up: Ryan Maus, Michelle Train, Kevin Kurtt/Jeff Keiser/Ryan Maus)
- Comments on Keiser: "A steady presence on the field; good clubhouse guy." "For his weekly task of having to round up replacements for the team. From Geller’s lame excuses, to everyone losing motivation at the end of the year, Keiser has made it possible for this team to have 10 players and never forfeit, no matter how disinterested his teammates have been."
- Comments on Maus: "Handled the lineup exchange with class every night."
- Comments on Kurtt/Keiser/Maus: "For highest attendance."

Emily Wood Team Spirit Award: Jim Strick (runners-up: Kate Anderson, Kevin Noth)
- Comments on Strick: "Consistently week in and week out brought his lunch pail and pitched his way through one prima donna opponent who wanted to walk first and hit later after another. Pitched all but one game and played inspired defense on the mound, and stepped in to input stat crew for the first game ever at TCF Bank Stadium, an accomplishment he can take with him for the rest of his life." "He takes the mound every week despite having tennis elbow."
- Comments on Anderson: "A great positive addition to a sometimes-fractured clubhouse."
- Comments on Noth: "His one-liners are hilarious." "He may not know the score. He may not know how many outs there are. But Noth is always there to provide a word of encouragement to his teammates."
- Also receiving votes: Kevin Kurtt ("Shows up early and brings his lunch pail and hard hat."), Kieran Kurtt, Ryan Maus, Michelle Train)

Fox 9 News Courage and Love of the Game Award: Steve Geller, Casey Kurtt and Kevin Noth
- Comments on Geller: "Nobody puts forward a greater effort on a daily basis. A team full of Gellers would be undefeated."
- Comments on Kurtt: "Skillfully combining motherhood while continuing a playing career."
- Comment on Noth: "Played much of season with broken finger." "For the chatter he provides no matter what the situation and this year playing with a broken figure. Almost rivaled the toughness Cathy Behr showed in 2008 when her finger was severed from its joint and she still played through it."
- Also receiving votes: Jeff Keiser ("First to arrive (along with KK) at nearly every game. If that doesn’t show “love of the game,” I don’t know what does."), Kevin Kurtt ("Nobody loves the game more than the Kurtt family and Kevin is the patriarch."), Ryan Maus ("Because he is always smiling."), Kim & Mandy Myslajek ("Anyone willing to play with this group needs courage and they’re among the few females we had willing to play twice in one night."), Meghan Potter

Lisa Hardy Most Improved Player Award: Lisa Hardy (by unanimous vote)
- Comments on Hardy: "There’s a reason this award was renamed." "Is there any question?" "Enjoyed one of the finest seasons in recent memory." "A dramatic improvement from the previous two years. A renewed passion for the sport of slow-pitch softball and marathon workout regimen made Hardy clearly the most improved player this year. She even cut down on her arguments with the umpires. At least in the games I was in attendance for." "Not even close."

Emily Wickstrom Grit/Determination Award: Casey Kurtt
- Comments on Kurtt: "Casey should get this award just for blocking home plate on the tag of one of the opposing guys earlier in the year. However, she gets it for putting up with all of the egos on the team, keeping tabs on Kieran, hitting ball hard every time she is up even if it goes foul (ala Geller) half the time and playing with all out hustle. We continue to hope we can keep this gritty veteran who goes all out all the time on our squad before she tires of our over-competitive tendencies and geeky stat conversations." "She plays with no regard for her body. She will dive on a ground ball in any situation and is also willing to block home plate." "Toughest catcher in the SLP league."
- Also receiving votes: Cathy Behr ("Always giving 110%."), Alyssa Downing, Steve Geller ("When I think grit, I think Geller."), Lisa Hardy, Jeff Keiser ("Took a ball to the face and hit two home runs."), Ryan Maus, Meghan Potter ("Not sure why.")

Tory Kukowski Memorial Rookie of the Year: Kate Anderson (runner-up: Taylor VanderAarde)
- Comments on Anderson: "By default. The failed Amanda Hoehn Experiment handed this award to Forbes." "Proved herself a worthwhile (and hopefully long-term!) addition to the team with consistent play." "Solid potential as an everyday player in 2010."
- Comments on VanderAarde: "He hit a home run." "He has not qualified for this year, but he gets it for being the only player other then Jeff Keiser to go yard this year in a game."
- Also receiving votes: Amanda Hoehn, Brian Keiser, N/A ("Not willing to give this award to a 10-day contract player. I feel as if we have a veteran team.")

PPI Sports Most Aggressive Baserunner/Hustler Award: Alyssa Downing (runner-up: Steve Geller)
- Comments on Downing: "Although some of her baserunning decisions may have been misguided, no one can question her aggressiveness and hustle." "This should be named after her." "Her reckless abandon on the basepaths are a perfect match for Steve Geller’s hitch in his shoulder that allows him to only wave in baserunners from third. Probably the only baserunner on the team to run through my stop sign at third base. "
- Comments on Geller: "The definition of the word “hustle.” "He has taken it down a notch but will still take the extra base in ANY situation."
- Also receiving votes: Kevin Kurtt, Ryan Maus ("Sliding into third with a smile, of course."

Kurtt Family Memorial Team Loyalty Award: Laura Kurtt and The Kurtt Family
- Comments on Laura Kurtt: "Keeps showin’ up with a smile on her face. Was going to don someone else’s shoes and socks to play in an emergency. She also attended more games than Silver Stick winner Steve Geller." "Because she attended more games then I did."
- Comments on The Kurtt Family: "Their dedication to this joke of a team is unparalleled. Sure, they’re probably there just to see Kieran, but still, they’re there."
- Also receiving votes: Jeff Keiser ("Has he ever missed a game?"), Casey Kurtt, Kieran Kurtt ("Led the league in overall cuteness in '09."), One of the Kurtts, Alex Van Lepp ("Because he wants to be a part of the team sooooo bad!"), Kim & Mandy Myslajek, N/A ("Nobody loyal enough to make it to every game.")

Jeannie/Cowboy Bob Superfan Award: Leah Foreman-Keiser and Laura Kurtt
- Comments on Foreman-Keiser: "I'm biased." "Because she came to a number of games despite the fact that she hates the sport."
- Comments on Kurtt: "Was willing to play in a pinch; that’s the definition of a true fan!"
- Also receiving votes: Pam Hardy, Beth Kurtt ("Kieran may be the trendy pick here, but no one cares more about this team than Beth."), Kieran Kurtt, Jim Kurtt ("I think I voted for Beth last season."), One of the Kurtts, Kieran Kurtt/Cameron Noth/Emily Slieter ("I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. You know the rest."), Jeannie/Cowboy Bob

Goldy’s Gang Mascot of the Year: Maggie
- Comments on Maggie: "I was told Maggie was at a game so I will continue my yearly vote for her as Mascot of the Year." "How much time does she have left?"
- Also receiving votes: AVP, Ben Flattum, Kieran Kurtt ("Maggie’s reign as the team’s mascot should come to an end. It’s time for the next generation. Cooper was the heir apparent, but lost her chance after almost getting Train arrested/attacking fellow team mascots. Kieran, it’s your time to shine."), Steve Geller's t-shirts

Burrito Loco Best 10-Day Acquisition Award: Taylor VanderAarde (runner-up: Brian Keiser) - Comments on VanderAarde: "No-brainer."
- Comments on Keiser: "Hadn’t played softball in a long time and performed beautifully for WTP. We expected great things out of VanderAarde and got them, but no one expected the younger Keiser to go 4-for-5 with 4 RBI." "Not only for his performance, but for packing in a month full of activities in one week in Minnesota. I fully believe he will be in the front row at Slieter’s cabin to endorse the state when “Jeff Keiser is a Minnesotan Day” comes along." "Even though two Keisers in the lineup is way too many."
- Also receiving votes: Caramelina Carabajal ("Far outshone boyfriend Ben Flattum on the diamond.")

Nick Joos/M. Lochrem Biggest Disappointment “Award”: Amanda Hoehn (runners-up Steve Geller, Meghan Potter)
- Comments on Hoehn: "A no-brainer here. Honorable mention should go to Keiser for this signing."
- Comments on Geller: "This is my early campaign to get our league moved to Mondays (scratch this if I can find a new job). The fact that I missed five games is pathetic."
- Comments on Potter: "Rumor has it she played in college, but I don’t believe it."
- Also receiving votes: Cooper ("Not one appearance."), Ryan Maus ("- I would vote for myself in this one (deservedly so, I had a terrible year); I don’t know who else would even be 'deserving.'"), WTP ("For not showing up against the Green Giants during the Summer season.")
Kyle Coughlin Memorial Best Excuse for Noth Showing Up Award:
- Cathy Behr for her nationwide traveling
- Amanda Hoehn for thinking the game was at 7
- Michelle Train for attending a meaningless Twins game
- Amanda Hoehn showing up at 7:15 for a 6:15 game.
- Amanda Hoehn, for showing the dedication to actually show up at 7:15 for a 6:15 game, and then going to the bar and enjoying the postgame Major’s spread.
- Jim Strick various celebrity public address appearances.
- Steve Geller attending Volleyball 101.
- Steve Geller’s career.
- Michelle Train: “I have to see the Twins one more time at the Dome.”
- Cathy Behr’s job.
- Meghan Potter: “I’m tired.”
- Meghan Potter: educating the youth of America and teaching them how to play the sport of volleyball.
- Kate Anderson: Botched automobile repair.
- Alyssa Downing: Basketball? In July/August/September? What is this, the WNBA?
- So many but Kate gets my vote. Take your car to Tires Plus on a Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday.
- I refuse to name a candidate as we try to eliminate all references to Kyle Coughlin’s prior attachment with this franchise.
- Meghan Potter

Meltdown of the Year Award, Presented by Garry Bowman:
- Garry Bowman ("I don’t care that he didn’t play!")
- Jeff Keiser ("Anytime you get a warning from an umpire, you win Meltdown of the Year in my book."
-Meghan Potter (“Lay off me! I’m starving!”)
- Jim Strick’s mound antics throughout the season, highlighted by performance against Bad News Bears.
- Meghan Potter standing up to shortstop after a “rough tag”
- Matt Slieter’s tirade after several groundouts….”It’s slow pitch softball!!”
- Matt Slieter trying to remind himself it’s slowpitch softball and not that hard
- Jim Strick, throwing the ball at the third base up two times in a row hard
- Keiser calling time and throwing the ball
- I did not see it, but I am going to for the eloquently described meltdown of Jim Strick who riffled a ball at the Bad News Bears player after a walking a batter. Classic meltdown.
- WTP against Texa Tonka and Jim Strick firing the ball multiple times at the fence.
- Jeff Keiser mouthing off to the ump after she asks “How are you doing?”

Cy Young, brought to you by Icy Hot: Jim Strick
- Comments on Strick: "By default." "A no-brainer." "Delivered week in and week out on the mound and fielded his position better then any hurler in the league."
- Also receiving votes: Jeff Keiser, Kevin Kurtt, Ryan Maus

Gold Glove, presented by Isotoner: Ryan Maus, Jim Strick, Kevin Kurtt, Matt Slieter, Cathy Behr
- Also receiving votes: Steve Geller, Lisa Hardy, Jeff Keiser, Kevin Noth, Meghan Potter

Gregg Shimanski Executive of the Year: Jeff Keiser
- Comments on Keiser: "He worked tirelessly to put a team together week after week.
- Nobody has a more extensive go-to phone list of people to play slow-pitch softball after regular team members back out then Jeff Keiser. He also made a great move to stave off forfeit by collecting players from another team to play against the Green Giants. All these factors are why we let him by the GM, even though he has never produced a winning season and been unable to match the 25-0 season of 2006." "For his positive online interview in the face of team adversity." "Spent every Tuesday afternoon trying to track down another 10-day acquisition."
- Also receiving votes: Kevin Kurtt, Michelle Train, N/A ("This award is for executives that put together a championship team.")

Marvin Geller Lifetime Achivement Award: Steve Geller and Lisa Hardy
- Comments on Geller: "A cornerstone of the franchise."
- Comments on Hardy: "Veteran’s renewed intensity led to career year." "Not sure if she has received this (if she has scratch this), but she is the one female who has put up with Keiser, Geller and Kurtt the whole time, and also done so with the likes of Sandersfeld, the Fridge, Lundberg and many other throughout the years. She also probably had her best career season in 2009."
- Also receiving votes: Kevin Kurtt, Kevin Noth, Andrea Smith

Bobby Z’S Kodak Moments of the Year:
- Jeff Keiser’s signing of The Myslajek Twins in order for WTP to field a full team vs. the Green Giants.
- Jeff Keiser’s two home runs after getting hit in the jaw.
- Only three females showing up for the Green Giants game leading the GM to sign the Myslajek twins. Then, the makeshift team gave the Giants a tough game.
- Steve Geller winning first career batting title in final game.
- AVP preparing detailed scouting reports of the Green Giants.
- The swift-footed athleticism of Kevin Noth in all areas of the game.
- Casey Kurtt blocking home plate on numerous occasions.
- The Return of Dre.
- Jim Strick, throwing the ball at the third base up two times in a row hard (Who would think Jim would do such a thing?)
- Geller’s inside-the-park home run (which I think happened)
- Casey Kurtt blocking the plate to tag opposing guy out
- Keiser’s home run that bounced off the top of the fence
- Geller’s consistent misjudgment of fly balls to make his catches highlight reel worthy.
- Downing’s home run although I don’t remember the circumstances.
- Several stellar Kurtt grabs at shortstop as usual.
- Ryan Maus’ nice snag at third that was turned into a double play.
- Matt Slieter’s steady outfield play.
- Megan Potter getting mad against a team I forget, smoking a hit to the fence and making a great throw from right field that surprised opposing guy and made him not tag up.
- KK’s online interview between JK and Train
- The Downing-Behr-Casey double play at the plate
- Steve Geller
- Matt Slieter

The Steak Knife Bloopers of the Year:
- Andrea Smith forgetting glove in consecutive games.
- WTP blowing 8-0 lead to Texa Tonka in 9-8 loss.
- Ryan Maus hitting 2 consecutive balls into the dugout.
- Only three females showing up for the Green Giants game leading the GM to sign two random players from Myslajek.
- Jim Kurtt purchasing a convertible without the consent of his wife.
- Alyssa Downing asking me what a “BB” was in the scorebook.
- Controversy on whether Geller had enough at bats to qualify for the batting title.
- Noth going 3-for-15 over the last four games of the year.
- Any of Geller’s catches.
- Flattum striking out.
- Kevin Noth’s many stellar outfield “plays.”
- Geller’s slide into 3rd
- Keiser getting hit in the head by the ball at home
- The entire Myslajek/Bail Bonds doubleheader.
- The several inside the park home runs we allowed which should never happen in a fence league, unless Ichiro is batting.
- Our seven straight ground outs to end the first Green Giants game.
- The yearlong controversy of when AVP would be called in to fill for our team, and it finally coming to fruition so he could show he is just as mediocre as the rest of us (at least on the stat sheet).
- The loss to Texa Tonka.
- KK signaling safe while standing in the base path.
- Noth overrunning second base with a runner on third, being thrown out and paying the price with an arthritic finer for the rest of his days.
- Strick waving Slieter home with the ball already in the infield
- Maus knocking down the water bottle in the dugout on consecutive swings
- Jeff Keiser
- Steve Geller ("I’m sure Geller did something that made me laugh."_

Most Awards Won
Jeff Keiser 3
Jim Strick 3
Steve Geller 2
Lisa Hardy 2
Casey Kurtt 2
Laura Kurtt 2
Ryan Maus 2
Matt Slieter 2
Kate Anderson 1
Cathy Behr 1
Alyssa Downing 1
Leah Foreman-Keiser 1
Amanda Hoehn 1
Kevin Kurtt 1
The Kurtt Family 1
Maggie 1
Kevin Noth 1
Michelle Train 1
Taylor VanderAarde 1

Most Times Runner-Up
Steve Geller 4
Jeff Keiser 4
Kevin Kurtt 4
Ryan Maus 4
Kieran Kurtt 3
Meghan Potter 3
Michelle Train 3
N/A 3
Kate Anderson 2
Alyssa Downing 2
Lisa Hardy 2
Casey Kurtt 2
Kim & Mandy Myslajek 2
Kevin Noth 2
Alex Van Lepp 2
One of the Kurtts 2
Cathy Behr 1
Ben Flattum 1
Pam Hardy 1
Brian Keiser 1
Beth Kurtt 1
Jim Kurtt 1
Matt Slieter 1
Andrea Smith 1
Jim Strick 1
Taylor VanderAarde 1
Amanda Hoehn 1
Jeannie/Cowboy Bob 1
Kevin Kurtt/Jeff Keiser/Ryan Maus 1
Kieran Kurtt/Cameron Noth/Emily Slieter 1
Steve Geller's t-shirts 1

No Votes Received
Katie Fornasiere
Tory Kukowski
Hayley Lang
Mike Miller
Lori Noth
Kelly Slieter

Evaluating a GM: The Jeff Keiser Tenure

With a pair of press conferences today in the Twin Cities to announce new general managers for the Minnesota Wild and Minnesota Timberwolves, the status of one of the area's most well-known GMs has come to the forefront. Rumors continue to swirl as to the future of Jeff Keiser (Avon, Conn.), the third-year GM for slowpitch softball team Warning Track Power.

The endeared, yet embattled Keiser took over general manager duties in September of 2007 after a two-year reign by Steve Geller (Port Jefferson, N.Y.) that saw the franchise win back-to-back Cities Sports Connection championships. Geller stepped down with a 25-0 record as GM, saying, "I've accomplished all there is to accomplish in my role as general manager of Boom Goes the Dynamite. It's time for someone else to take the next step and lead this franchise to further success. It won't be difficult with the team I've assembled."

Since then, Keiser's Boom and WTP teams have compiled a 19-13 record in one additional season of CSC play and two campaigns of St. Louis Park Mixed C League action.

Team president and owner Kevin Kurtt (Edina, Minn.) has been steadfast in his support of Keiser as GM, but admits to giving consideration to making a change in the player personnel department after subpar 2007 and 2008 seasons, and an inconsistent start to the 2009 campaign.

"I'm a huge Jeff Keiser fan," Kurtt said. "It's true I've never liked him as an outfielder or as a third baseman, but as a GM, he's a great fit for this organization. Nobody works harder in putting together a team...and not a week goes by that Jeff isn't scouring the waiver wire and free agent market for new acquisitions.

"Maybe Jeff thought it was going to be an easy job when he took over for Geller. He must have looked at what was coming back from the 2006 team and thought a third title was pre-ordained for Boom. But in 2007, I think Jeff went away from what made us a championship-caliber team. I can't put my finger on it, but since we didn't have a coach, I'm forced to blame the GM. Maybe Jeff need to look at the blueprint that Geller put together during his two championship seasons and go from there."

An investigation into the tenure of Keiser as the Boom/WTP GM reveals a host of possible reasons for the franchise falling on hard times, but certainly no "smoking gun" that would undoubtedly doom or absolve Keiser. For the purposes of this research, only free agent signees and 10-day acquisitions were taken into account to grade Keiser's job as GM. Although veteran players from the days of GM Steve Geller are not above reproach, this investigation is solely looking at those players brought into the franchise by Keiser. A list of all acquisitions from 2006-09 is included below.

2007 season (6-4)
After the 2006 CSC Championship season, Boom lost only two regular players (Jeremy Beach and Kelsey Ness), but the record fell from 11-0 to 6-4. If the team's core remained the same, what happened?

* Keiser's lone free agent acquisition, Meghan Potter, failed to live up to the hype. At the time of her signing, Keiser heralded Potter as "a difference maker" and alluded to her status as North Dakota State's 11th-best all-time home run hitter. Potter showed flashes of brilliance in her rookie season, but they were too few and far between. Potter was named the spring season's Library Bar & Grill Rookie of the Year, but was given the 2007 Nick Joss/Mike Lockrem Biggest Disappointment "Award" at the conclusion of the summer season.
* On the flip side, two of Keiser's key 10-day acquistitions - Ryan Maus and Emily Wood - garnered 2007 Burrito Loco Best 10-Day Acquisition Awards. Maus also was named the summer's Rookie of the Year.
* However, the two 2006 Best 10-Day Acquisition Award winners - Emily Hennen and Tyler Thomson - were inexplicably ignored by Keiser when roster spots opened during the 2007 campaign. Other 2006 acquisitions that were never heard from again included Aaron "Dubs" DeBerg, Mike Lockrem and Nate Schultz.
* Three 2007 10-day acquisitions - Alyssa Downing, Ryan Maus and Emily Wood - parlayed their part-time success into a full roster spot in 2008.
* The remaining 10-day acquisitions were a mixed bag for Keiser and Boom, ranging from the good (Peyton N. Owens III), to the better than expected (Chris Cords), to the failed experiment (Anne Strong).

*CONCLUSION: Like his acquisitions, the 2007 season was a mixed bag for Keiser. On one had, Keiser can be commended for maintaining the core of Boom's championship-winning teams. On the other hand, Keiser's free agent signee (Potter) and 10-day acquisitions just were not consistent enough to keep Boom at the top of CSC. It seemed other league franchises closed the gap during Keiser's rookie year as GM.

2008 season (10-8)
The 2008 campaign was a watershed season for Keiser and the entire franchise. Most notably, Boom left its longtime CSC home in favor of greener pastures (literally) in the St. Louis Park Mixed C League. Boom moved to a league that featured fences, real grass and certified umpires, and entered the season with a renewed excitement for the future of the franchise.

Over the offseason, Boom lost key players in Kyle Coughlin (traded for a bucket of softballs and a bag of beef jerky to Chicago club Windy City Express), Alicia Jerome (retired) and Tory Kukowski (signed free agent contract with Norman, Okla., club Cans of Corn). Keiser responded by signing the largest crop of free agents since the inception of the franchise in 2002.

Still, Boom remained mired in mediocrity despite the sweeping changes. What happened?

* Six new players signed by Keiser joined the Boom roster in Cathy Behr, Alyssa Downing, Ryan Maus, Matt Slieter, Jim Strick and Emily Wood. Together, the sextet combined to hit .623 with 86 RBI, 24 doubles and 9 triples. The new players finished second, third, fourth, fifth, 10th and 11th on the team in batting average.
* Keiser signed four 10-day acquisitions in Doug Vose, Bobbi Ross, Michelle Train and Kristine Yorde. Vose (5-5, 5 RBI) and Ross (1-2, RBI) paid big dividends, while Traen and Yorde failed to reach base.
* Strick earned Rookie of the Year honors, while Ross was named the top 10-day acquisition.
* A year after using 12 different 10-day acquisitions, Keiser only needed to sign four in 2008, demonstrating Boom's roster continuity during the season.
* Keiser inked Michelle Train as the franchise's first ever manager.

* CONCLUSION: Despite the record, the 2008 campaign was far and away Keiser's best as GM. From making the push to change leagues to assembling a world-class lineup, Keiser excelled in 2008. So why the 10-8 record? The blame lies solely on the manager. Train was given all the tools to bring Boom back to prominence in 2008, but she failed miserably. The Boom roster in 2008 was as talented and deep as any of the championship-winning teams, but for all her hard work, Train never found the right lineup, defensive alignment or motivational technique to push Boom back to greatness. Train, for her part, blames "the dead bats."

2009 season (3-1)
Only four games into the season, the jury is very much still out on Keiser in 2009. However, due to offseason losses, Keiser has already made several moves in an effort to jump-start the franchise. In addition to player signings, the team ditched the iconic Boom Goes the Dynamite name in favor of a more apt description - Warning Track Power.

So far, WTP has been incredibly inconsistent. After opening the season with a rout, WTP lost an embarrassing one-run game to an inferior team. WTP has rebounded to go on a two-game win streak, but it hasn't been easy.

* The franchise lost veterans Andrea Smith (signed free agent contract with Stockton, Calif., club The Violators) and Emily Wood (retired) during the offseason.
* In response, Keiser signed former opponent Amanda Hoehn as a free agent. So far this season, Hoehn has only played in one game, going 0-for-3 with a strikeout.
* Like 2008, Keiser's 2009 10-day acquisitions have been a mixed bag. Player/manager Michelle Train (2-2, 2 RBI) and Katie Fornasiere (3-4, 2 RBI) were stellar in the season opener, but Ben Flattum (0-2, K) and Carmelina Carabajal (1-3) were underwhelming in the last game.
* It appears that Keiser made a concerted effort to address WTP's alleged chemistry problem that surfaced in 2008 by signing Hoehn (to keep Potter interested) and Flattum/Carabajal (for their social contributions during postgame meals).

* CONCLUSION: It's too early to grade Keiser's performance in 2009, but chemistry looks to be the defining issue of the season. On one hand, Keiser should be commended for worrying about team chemistry. But did he sacrifice on-field performance for off-field enjoyment? It's hard to say right now. A mitigating factor here is the fact that WTP has not played a game with all full-time roster members in attendance. When that happens (sometime in June), we'll know a lot more about Keiser's future as GM.

FRANCHISE MOVES (2006-09)
2006 players (team record 11-0) (Steve Geller, GM)
Kyle Coughlin
Katie Fornasiere
Steve Geller
Lisa Hardy
Alicia Jerome
Jeff Keiser
Tory Kukowski
Casey Kurtt
Kevin Kurtt
Kelsey Ness
Kevin Noth
Andrea Smith
Jeremy Beach 10-day acquisition
Aaron DeBerg 10-day acquisition
Emily Hennen 10-day acquisition
Mike Lockrem 10-day acquisition
Matt Schroeder 10-day acquisition
Nate Schultz 10-day acquisition
Tyler Thomson 10-day acquisition
Michelle Train 10-day acquisition

2006-07 offseason losses
Kelsey Ness

2007 Keiser signees (team record 6-4)
Meghan Potter - 1-year contract
Chris Cords - 10-day acquisition
Alyssa Downing - 10-day acquisition
Katie Fornasiere - 10-day acquisition
Ryan Maus - 10-day acquisition
Peyton N. Owens III - 10-day acquisition
Crissy Potter - 10-day acquisition
Matt Schroeder - 10-day acquisition
Anne Strong - 10-day acquisition
Michelle Train - 10-day acquisition
Emily Wood - 10-day acquisition
Kristine Yorde - 10-day acquisition

2007-08 offseason losses
Kyle Coughlin - traded for a bucket of softballs and a bag of beef jerky to Chicago club Windy City Express
Alicia Jerome - retired
Tory Kukowski - signed free agent contract with Norman, Okla., club Cans of Corn

2008 Keiser signees (team record 10-8)
Cathy Behr - 10-year contract
Alyssa Downing - 8-year contract
Ryan Maus - 8-year contract
Matt Slieter - 3-year contract
Jim Strick - 5-year contract
Emily Wood - 4-year contract
Doug Vose - 10-day acquisition
Bobbi Ross - 10-day acquisition
Kristine Yorde - 10-day acquisition
Michelle Train - player/manager

2008-09 offseason losses
Andrea Smith - signed free agent contract with Stockton, Calif., club The Violators
Emily Wood - retired

2009 Keiser signees (team record 3-1)
Amanda Hoehn - 2-year contract
Ben Flattum - 10-day acquisition
Carmelina Carabajal - 10-day acquisition
Katie Fornasiere - 10-day acquisition
Michelle Train - player/manager

Warning Track Power Goes Streaking With 15-9 Win Over Wells Fargo

Warning Track Power is on its first winning streak of the season after a too-tense 15-9 victory over Wells Fargo last night in St. Louis Park Mixed C League play. WTP (3-1) jumped out to a 9-0 lead in the bottom of the first, but for the second time in the last three weeks, failed to find the killer instinct that was present with the Boom Goes the Dynamite teams of 2005 and 2006.

Wells Fargo, a team made up of bank tellers, high school dropouts and former child actors, closed the gap to 12-9 in the fifth inning, but a small WTP rally and some stalwart defense sealed the win and the two-game win streak.

Playing in midsummerlike conditions with temperatures in the 90s and winds in the 20-30 mph range, both teams' pitchers struggled to find the strike zone. WTP hurler Jeff Keiser (Avon, Conn.) filled in admirably for staff ace Jim Strick (Combined Locks, Wis.) who was off providing his melodic voice talents to a low-level softball tournament in Wisconsin. Keiser walked three, but kept Wells Fargo's rallies to a minimum by deftly mixing up his pitches.

At the plate, Keiser had a forgettable performance, but was picked up by three WTPers with batting averages of .750 or better. Aging veteran Kevin Noth (Norwalk, Wis.) had his best game since 2007, going 3-for-3 with an RBI and a run. Savvy slugger Matt Slieter (Owatonna, Minn.) continued his torrid start to the 2009 campaign with a 3-for-4 outing. Slieter is now hitting a team-best .909 on the season. Tall infielder Cathy Behr (Willmar, Minn.) had another stellar performance at the plate, going 3-for-4 with three RBI and three runs scored.

Warning Track Power now heads into the bye week with a 3-1 record in the St. Louis Park Mixed C League standings.

Box score above. For Warning Track Power season stats, go to slowpitchstats.com.

Game Notes
* Warning Track Power veteran Kevin Noth filled in as umpire for 1.1 innings until USSSA umpire Alexander P. Tardeman arrived.
* Warning Track Power went 19-for-36 (.528) on the night.
* Kevin Noth has hits in four straight at bats, his best streak since the 2006 campaign.
* Top hit streaks of the season: Matt Slieter: 7, Kevin Kurtt 5, Kevin Noth 4
* Cathy Behr has had four straight multi-hit games to start the season. Slieter has three consecutive multi-hit contests.
* For the second straght week, a WTPer struck out swinging. This week, Casey Kurtt got the K after last week's whiff by Amanda Hoehn.
* WTP is 3-0 when Kevin Kurtt wears his "Kyle's Birthday November 17" t-shirt.
* WTP is 3-0 at Dakota Park East and 0-1 at Dakota Park West.
* WTP was without the services of its top two pitchers in Jim Strick and Steve "Moonlight" Geller.
* WTP failed to hit a triple for the first time this season.
* Alyssa Downing arrived at the field a career-record 28 minutes early. Meghan Potter was also early for an unprecedented second week in a row.
* Ten-day acquisitions/lovebirds Ben Flattum and Carmelina Carabajal struggled at the plate, going a combined 1-for-5, but made significant social contributions during a postgame meal at Major's Sports Café.
* Flattum and Casey Kurtt were the lone WTPers without a hit.
* WTP drew a season-high six walks.
* WTP only had three extra base hits - doubles by Cathy Behr, Lisa Hardy (!) and Meghan Potter.
* Matt Slieter failed to reach base in the first inning for the first time this season.
* Cathy Behr was named the misterheavyfoot.blogspot.com Player of the Game. Second star: Kevin Noth. Third star: Matt Slieter.
* Umpire Alexander P. Tardeman was named the Nick Joos/CoSIDA Goat of the Game.
* Kevin Noth subbing for late umpire Alexander P. Tardeman for 1.1 innings was nominated for the Pontiac Game Changing Performance of the Year and the Kodak Moment of the Year.
* Lisa Hardy digging out a poorly thrown ball to first from third baseman Ryan Maus for a crucial out has been nominated for Kodak Moment of the Year.
* Umpire Alexander P. Tardeman made an inexplicable "out" call on a play at second base involving Matt Slieter. After a WTP flyout, Slieter tagged up and bluffed a run to third before retutning to second. Wells Fargo threw to second before Slieter reached the bag with Lately calling him out, despite the fact that a tag needed to be made. The moment will now be recognized as a contender for the Steak Knife Blooper of the Year.
* Also recognized for Blooper of the Year will be Casey Kurtt's drop of a perfectly thrown ball by shortstop Kevin Kurtt that would have provided a highlight-reel inning-ending double play.
* Fans in attendance: Leah Foreman-Keiser (one inning), Pam Hardy, Hardy Family Member A, Hardy Family Member B, Kieran Kurtt, Laura Kurtt.
* 2009 Three Star Standings:
Cathy Behr 6
Jim Strick 6
Matt Slieter 5
Kevin Noth 3
Michelle Train 3
Kevin Kurtt 1

Warning Track Power Back in the Win Column with 12-2 Thumping of Myslajek Ltd.

Warning Track Power got back in the win column Tuesday with a convincing 12-2 victory over Myslajek Ltd., in a game played in horrendous conditions of heavy rains and driving winds. WTP (2-1) cruised to the win on the strength of a pitching gem by veteran hurler Jim Strick (Combined Locks, Wis.) and perfect nights at the plate by Strick, Matt Slieter, Kevin Kurtt and Steve Geller (10-for-10, 7 runs, 5 RBI).

With the win, WTP maintained its undefeated all-time record (3-0) against Myslajek, a team comprised of certified public accountants, recovering alcoholics and at least one prostitute. Warning Track Power now stands in a three-way tie for second place behind defending champion Green Giants (2-0) in the St. Louis Park Mixed C League standings.

Box score above. For Warning Track Power season stats, go to slowpitchstats.com.

Game Notes
* The game was played in awful weather conditions with periods of heavy rain and sustained winds upwards of 30 mph.
* Warning Track Power played through the franchise's first ever rain delay.
* Warning Track Power went 21-for-34 (.618) on the night.
* Four WTPers had perfect nights from the plate - Matt Slieter (3-3), Kevin Kurtt (3-3), Jim Strick (2-2) and Steve Geller (2-2).
* Amanda Hoehn, an offseason free agent signee, made her WTP debut, going 0-for-3 with one strikeout (swinging).
* Hoehn's strikeout was the first swinging K in recorded franchise history.
* Aging veteran Steve "Moonlight" Geller made his 2009 WTP debut, going 2-for-2 with
* WTP recorded its third consecutive game with multiple triples.
* Pitcher Jim Strick did not have an earned run, despite the game being played in horrendous conditions.
* Jeff Keiser had a career-high two infield hits, including one ball that went approximately 17 inches in distance from home plate.
* Meghan Potter arrived at the field a career-record 23 minutes early.
* Alyssa Downing arrived at the field after the scheduled start for the fifth time in the last six games.
* Kevin Noth wore his always-popular wife-beater, but went with a long-sleeve t-shirt when the weather made a turn for the worse.
* Potter and Keiser both ordered mushroom pizzas at the postgame meal at Majors.
* Keiser and shortstop Kevin Kurtt each made a pair of throwing errors. Kurtt made up for it at the plate...Keiser did not.
* Kurtt had a team-leading 3 RBI despite hitting from the leadoff spot.
* Lisa Hardy hit the first sacrifice fly of the season.
* Jim Strick drew his second career walk.
* Amanda Hoehn was the lone WTPer without a hit.
* Kevin Kurtt and Jeff Keiser were not first two roster members present at Dakota Park for the first time this season. Keiser and Matt Slieter arrived before Kurtt.
* Jim Strick was named the misterheavyfoot.blogspot.com Player of the Game. Second star: Matt Slieter. Third star: Kevin Kurtt.
* The weather was named the Nick Joos/CoSIDA Goat of the Game.
* WTP gritting out four runs in the first inning under terrible weather conditions was nominated for the Pontiac Game Changing Performance of the Year.
* Steve "Moonlight" Geller's rare opposite field hit in the fourth inning has been nominated for the Kodak Moment of the Year.
* Umpire Ron Dinkenger made an inexplicable "safe" call on a play at first base even though Lisa Hardy had control of a poorly-thrown Jeff Keiser ball a full step ahead of the runner. The moment will now be recognized as a contender for the Steak Knife Blooper of the Year.
* Also recognized for Moment/Blooper of the Year will be Steve "Moonlight" Geller's slipping, sliding catch of a short fly ball, followed by a poor throw to third to complete a double play. The play would not have been recognized had Geller been wearing cleats.
* Fans in attendance: None, although Steve "Moonlight" Geller's agent Enrico Gellabrini was spotted in the stands. Rumor has it that Gellabrini is assisting Geller while he re-negotiates his endorsement contract with Myoplex.
* 2009 Three Star Standings:
Jim Strick 6
Matt Slieter 4
Cathy Behr 3
Michelle Train 3
Kevin Kurtt 1
Kevin Noth 1

Embarrassing. Warning Track Power Loses 9-8

8-0 lead after two innings, followed by allowing nine unanswered runs. Texa Tonka 9, Warning Track Power 8. There's your recap.

Box score above. For Warning Track Power stats, go to slowpitchstats.com.

Game Notes
* Game started out well with shortstop Kevin Kurtt opening his second straight game with a triple.
* Warning Track Power's downturn seemed to begin with utility player Alyssa Downing's strikeout...looking.
* Texa Tonka did not reach base until the third inning.
* Warning Track Power went 15-for-32 (.469) on the night.
* No WTPer had a batting average over .667 for the game.
* WTP set a team and league record with six triples, but had just one double and eight singles.
* WTP missed the savvy of veteran outfielder Matt Slieter.
* Aging slugger Steve "Moonlight" Geller was also absent.
* Only two players had multi-RBI games - Jeff Keiser (3) and Ryan Maus (2).
* Alyssa Downing, Meghan Potter and Casey Kurtt combined for a highlight-reel 9-4-2 double play with Kurtt blocking the plate to tag out a Texa Tonka runner at home. The moment will now be recognized as a contender for the Kodak Moment of the Year.
* Kevin Kurtt and Jeff Keiser were the first two roster members present at Dakota Park for the 15th time in the last 17 contests.
* Cathy Behr was named the misterheavyfoot.blogspot.com Player of the Game. Second star: Jim Strick. Third star: Kevin Noth.
* Umpire Susan H. Keller was named the Nick Joos/CoSIDA Goat of the Game.
* Alyssa Downing's strikeout was nominated for the Pontiac Game Changing Performance of the Year.
* Fans in attendance: Beth Kurtt, Jim Kurtt, Kieran Kurtt, Laura Kurtt, Cameron Noth, Lori Noth.

Roses Have Thorns, Eh?

With Guy LaFleur and his kid in jackass kid in some trouble with the law in Canada, we thought it was time to revisit one of the greatest hockey/beer commercials of all time.

Warning Track Power Era Begins with 25-6 Rout of Colgate

Behind the strength of an impressive .738 team batting average and a solid season-opening outing by savvy hurler Jim Strick (Combined Locks, Wis.), Warning Track Power cruised to a resounding 25-6 rout of Colgate in its inaugural game last night. Colgate, a team made up of a combination of furniture assemblymen, spa receptionists and toothpaste salespeople, was playing in its first game in the St. Louis Park Mixed C League.

Box score above. For Warning Track Power stats, go to slowpitchstats.com.

Game Notes
* Warning Track Power went 31-for-42 (.738) on the night.
* Four WTPers had perfect nights from the plate - Matt Slieter (4-4), Jim Strick (4-4), Kevin Noth (3-3) and Michelle Train (2-2).
* All but one batter (Casey Kurtt) recorded multi-hit games.
* Matt Slieter notched a career-best and franchise record-tying 5 RBI.
* With the fill-in performance of catcher/manager Michelle Traen, WTP management is considering cutting the absent Lisa Hardy or Amanda Hoehn in favor of locking up Traen for the season.
* Aging slugger Steve Geller was also absent.
* Train filled the shoes of Hardy quite nicely, drawing two walks.
* Shortstop/owner/president Kevin Kurtt opened the season with a triple, sliding head-first to narrowly beat the tag. Kurtt's slide was the team's only of the game.
* Eight players had multi-RBI games - Slieter (5), Strick (4), Alyssa Downing and Noth (3), Cathy Behr, Jeff Keiser, Katie Fornasiere and Train (2).
* Katie Fornasiere and Kevin Kurtt combined for the rare 4-6 fly ball putout in the first inning. Fornasiere camped under a shallow fly ball and did her best volleyball setter imitation as the ball bounced out of her glove and into the waiting hands of Kurtt. The moment will now be recognized as a contended for the Kodak Moment of the Year and/or the Steak Knife Blooper of the Year.
* Also up for Blooper of the Year was Noth's drastic misjudging of a long fly ball in the third inning.
* Slieter now is either tied or in the team lead in seven offensive categories - batting average (1.000), hits (4), doubles (2), RBI (5), slugging percentage (1.500), on-base percentage (1.000) and on-base plus slugging (2.500).
* 24 of WTP's 31 hits were singles.
* Kurtt and Keiser led the team with four runs scored.
* Kurtt and Keiser were the first two roster members present at Dakota Park for the 14th time in the last 16 contests.

* Train was named the misterheavyfoot.blogspot.com Player of the Game. Second star: Matt Slieter. Third star: Strick.
* Casey Kurtt was named the Nick Joos/CoSIDA Goat of the Game.
* Kevin Kurtt opening the game by turning a stand-up double into a head-first slide triple, thereby setting the tone for the game, was nominated for the Pontiac Game Changing Performance of the Year.
* Fans in attendance: Beth Kurtt, Jim Kurtt, Kieran Kurtt, Laura Kurtt, Cameron Noth, Lori Noth, Noth's Mom, Emily Slieter, Kelly Slieter.

Your 2009 Warning Track Power Preseason Roster

It's softball season and what better place than the new and improved Mister Heavyfoot for satirical game stories and fake press releases from everybody's favorite slowpitch softball team, Warning Track Power (nee Boom Goes the Dynamite). Things have mightily changed since we last heard from the storied franchise, namely the team's controversial decision to change its name from the iconic Boom Goes the Dynamite to the more aptly-titled Warning Track Power. WTP opens its 2009 campaign tomorrow in its second season in the St. Louis Park Mixed C Softball League. WTP's first opponent is Colgate. First pitch is at 6 p.m., at Dakota Park East.

So, without further ado, may we present to you the 2009 edition of Warning Track Power (subject to change):

Cathy Behr (UT) - A last minute signing to start the 2008 season who performed excellently all season; displays a courage and love of the game unrivaled in franchise history; able to play several positions, though she'd prefer to avoid shortstop so she can keep her manicured fingernails; one of the team's true powerhitters; winner of the following 2008 awards: Fox 9 Courage and Love of the Game (co-winner), Emily Wickstrom Grit/Determination Award, Tony's Diner Comeback Player of the Year, Gold Glove
Alyssa Downing (UT) - WTP's tannest player and a co-winner of the 2008 Duffy's Pizza Unsung Hero Award; quietly one of the team's most consistent on-base threats; sneaky fast baserunner who is always looking for extra bases
Steve Geller (P/OF/SS/3B) - will undoubtedly be swinging for the fences at every at-bat, especially with the addition of new Combat bats; looking to boucne back from a subpar 2008 season at the plate; winner of the following 2008 awards: Unsung Hero (co-winner), Fox 9 Courage and Love of the Game (co-winner), PPI Sports Most Aggressive Baserunner/Hustler Award, Gold Glove, Marvin Geller Lifetime Achievement Award (co-winner)
Lisa Hardy (1B) - opened the Lisa Hardy Speed Camp over the offseason; still one of WTP's slowest players, though she looks like she can run; will be splitting time between WTP and the Wayzata HS fastpitch team as an assistant coach; loss of Andrea Smith may be hardest on Hardy; is anticipating a poor hitting season as "the new bats are too heavy"
Amanda Hoehn (UT) - Lone offseason acquisition; a longtime slowpitch veteran who will bring some needed moxie to the WTP roster; has a great relationship with St. Louis Park Softball League umpires; is looking to exact a measure of revenge on her 2008 squad; appears on the preseason watch list for the Tory Kukowski Memorial Rookie of the Year Award
Jeff Keiser (P/OF/3B) - team general manager responsible for some of the best (Tyler Thomson) and worst (Chris Cords) signings in franchise history; winner of the following 2008 awards: Shane Sandersfeld Memorial MVP (co-winner), Gold Glove, Gregg Shimanski Executive of the Year (co-winner), Marvin Geller Lifetime Achievement Award (co-winner); contemplated sitting out the year with continued elbow soreness; enters season as one of WTP's few power threats; manager Michelle Train still can't figure out where he fits best in the field
Casey Kurtt (C/2B/OF) - co-owner of WTP with husband Kevin Kurtt; team's shortest player who looks to rebound from a subpar 2008 campaign at the plate; will run out any and all batted balls; tends to stop ground balls with her shins; also plays kickball during the season with the Kit Shickers; 2008 co-winner of the Duffy's Pizza Unsung Hero Award
Kevin Kurtt (SS/UT) - team president; co-owner of WTP with wife Casey Kurtt; packed on some ample winter weight in the offseason to bolster his inconsistent power hitting; will battle to keep his starting position at SS; enters season with continued pain in his throwing shoulder due to a torn labrum; had a solid 2008 season at the plate, but saw a significant dip in power hitting; winner of the following 2008 awards: Shane Sandersfeld Memorial MVP (co-winner), Victory Sports Silver Stick Award; Garry Bowman Leadership Award (co-winner), Gold Glove
Ryan Maus (OF) - deceptively slow outfielder who improved as the 2008 season wore on; now gainfully employed, he has no excuse for not producing this season; one of two lefthanded bats in the WTP lineup; smiles a lot; is way too into Twitter; veteran bullpen catcher; boasts an impressive fan club in Northfield, Minn; winner of the 2008 Potbelly Sandwich Works Most Improved Player Award and co-winner of the Duffy's Pizza Unsung Hero Award
Kevin Noth (OF/1B) - aging veteran who suffered through a dreadful 2008 season; didn't get the opportunity to show off his patented playoff surge as every tournament that Boom entered was cancelled; has vowed never to strikeout looking again; is primed for a strong 2009 season with renewed vigor after a rigorous offseason workout regimen; runaway "winner" of the Nick Joss/Mike Lochrem Biggest Disappointment "Award
Meghan Potter (OF) - bounced back after a lackadaisacal 2007 season to finish second in the Tony's Diner Comeback Player of the Year voting; hosted the season's only pre-game party in 2008; was outstanding with runners in scoring position; may be the team's lest aggressive baserunner; can be distracted by arrogant hockey/baseball players
Matt Slieter (UT) - a wily journeyman who is looking to build on a breakout 2008 season; didn't show the proneness to injury that is expected out of men's basketball SIDs; one of the team's least aggressive baserunners; despite average speed, won a Gold Glove from the outfield in 2008; one of few players who can hit to all fields
Jim Strick (UT) - tall; entered the season as an infielder/outfielder, but moved into the pitching spot after ineffectiveness from Steve Geller and Jeff Keiser; pitched a two-hitter in slowpitch softball, leading Boom to a pathetic 3-2 win; has total command of the strike zone to go along with an array of different pitches; changes speeds with ease; one of two lefthanded bats in the WTP lineup; led the team in on-base percenteage in 2008; winner of the 2008 Tory Kukowski Memorial Rookie of the Year Award and the Cy Young Award
Emily Wood (UT) - enters season on disabled list; perennial team sparkplug will supprt WTP from the stands if she is unable to play

Key Additions: Amanda Hoehn
Key Losses: Andrea Smith
Possible Subs: AVP, Garry Bowman, Carmelina Carabajal, Chris Cords, Phil Esten, Ben Flattum, Katie Fornasiere, Amy Hamilton, Emily Hennen, Kristin Hill, Nate Selvig, Anne Strong, Tyler Thomson, Michelle Train, Kristine Yorde
Season Opener: April 28

Area Woman Discloses Her Debilitating Fear of Deer

In an attempt to overcome a deep-seated and long-held fear, area woman Molly Casey (Brooklyn Park, Minn.) has announced that she has a debilitating phobia of deer and all things deer-related. Molly made her announcement during a large family gathering last weekend in Lakeland, Minn.

"I know several of you are aware of this, but my therapist thinks it would be a good idea if I said it out loud to everybody," a nervous and tearful Molly said. "Ok, here goes...I'm deathly afraid of deer. Yes, deer. I know you say they're one of nature's cutest animals and they're harmless herbivores, but those things scare the **** out of me. I would appreciate your support in helping me overcome my phobia. Please stop laughing."

According to phobialist.com, the medical term for fear of deer is Adnuolisphobia. Adnuolis is the scientfic name for white tailed deer. Adnuolisphobia is considered extremely rare.

Molly's announcement came as no surprise to her immediate family in attendance. According to a journal kept by Molly's mother, Mary Miller (Lakeland, Minn.), it appears Molly's fear of deer began after a 1986 viewing of the Disney classic "Bambi."

Miller wrote, "I think Molly's naiveté and gullibility got the best of her again today. We just got finished watching Bambi. Apparently, Molly (6) thought it was a documentary. She somehow got it into her head that Bambi and the other deer were the 'bad guys' in the movie. Most kids love Bambi. Not Molly. She cheered when Bambi's mother got shot by the hunters. For the rest of the movie, she was cheering for the hunters to get Bambi, Faline and the Great Prince. When the movie ended and all the deer were still alive, Molly shut all the curtains and started crying, saying 'The deer are still out there, Mommy.' Uh oh, it looks like I'm going to have to talk down Molly from another one of her fears. I just hope it doesn't take as long as calming her fear of poisoned apples (a la Snow White)."

Unable to overcome her fear, Molly has lived to this day with an intense phobia of deer and their relatives. Oldest sister Maggie Miller (St. Paul, Minn.) was quick to relay one of her favorite Molly/deer phobia stories.

"As the great big sister that I am, I always try to support my little sisters at their sporting events, dance recitals and such. I was a freshman at St. Ben's and I heard that Molly and her Stillwater track team had a meet in Elk River. Again, being the nice sister that I am, I hopped in my car and made the trek to the high school. Well, the Stillwater team bus shows up, but not with Molly. I called home and asked my Dad why Molly wasn't in Elk River. He told me that Molly tweaked an ankle while hurdling the day before. I got the feeling that Dad was hiding something from me, so I called my youngest sister (Jesse Brine). She told me that Molly faked her injury just so she didn't have to go to Elk River. Apparently, Molly's fear of deer also extends to elk. I guess she thought the town was swarming with the deer relatives. Makes my fear of Republicans look downright normal, doesn't it?"

Molly's phobia dogged the standout track athlete well after the meets in Elk River. In fact, Molly's deer-fear apparently cost her an athletic scholarship. According to documents obtained from current Stillwater Area girls' track & field coach Dawn Podolske, Molly turned down a sizable scholarship to NCAA Division II institution Nebraska-Kearney, apparently because of the school's Antelope mascot (photo of mascot Louie the Loper at right).

"We tried to get Molly to consider the scholarship offer to Kearney, but she was adamant," Casey's father, Mike Miller (Lakeland, Minn.), said. "She was not going to go to a school with a deer-like mascot. She had also elminated Maine-Augusta (Moose) from consideration. She was on the fence about schools with a ram as a mascot. I had no idea how deep her fear of deer ran until then."

Molly decided to attend the College of St. Benedict in St. Joseph, Minn., and became a member of the Blazer track & field team. But Molly's deer phobia would strike again during her college career, this time by the hooves of a seemingly suicidal white tailed deer.

According to an accident report filed with police, Molly was traveling along Collegeville Road on her way to visit her then-boyfriend, now-husband Kyle Casey (Brooklyn Park, Minn.) at St. John's University in Collegeville, Minn. Approximately one mile from the entrance to campus, a juvenile white tailed deer jumped out of the neighboring woods and slammed into the side of Molly's car, denting the driver's side door panels and cracking a window.

"When Molly got to my dorm room, she was an absolute wreck," Casey said. "Tears streaming down her face, shaking like a leaf, something had put the fear of God into her. I thought for sure she was mugged by a renegade St. Thomas student or something, but no, it was a deer. A ****ing deer. My girlfriend's irrational fear of deer had reared its ugly head yet again. Do you have any idea how long it took me to convince her that the deer aren't out to get her? I'll tell you this much, our relationship was nearly ruined...over a deer. A ****ing deer."

Unfortunately, that wasn't the last time that Molly's dear phobia impacted her husband. Married in November of 2006, Molly and Kyle moved into a new house in a new Brooklyn Park development in 2007. The backyard of the Casey house borders a small forest and open field, prime areas for encounters with various animals, including deer. Nearly every day since moving in, deer have wandered through their backyard, resulting in Molly burying herself under blankets in the basement.

"It's getting out of hand, really," Kyle said. "She sees a deer outside and immediately the crying, screaming and running to the basement begins. It's almost routine now. Our 16-month-old son (Carter) thinks it's normal to see mommy freak out the second a deer shows up outside our house. She better get over this fear, because much to her dismay, I'm not frosting over the windows and we're not moving."

Molly is reportedly contemplating agressive phobia therapy in an effort to overcome her fear of deer. The therapy includes visits to petting zoos, wearing vintage Minnesota Moose hockey jerseys, watching Discovery Channel nature shows and Versus hunting programs, hanging a set of deer antlers in the house, repeated singing of Do-Re-Mi, and ultimately, a nature hike/bowhunting trip to come face-to-face with a wild deer.

Area Softball Franchise Ditches Iconic Team Name in Favor of a More Apt Description

One of the Twin Cities' iconic recreational sports franchises is changing its name. Boom Goes the Dynamite, a slowpitch softball organization with ties to the now-defunct teams of Low Expectations, Gas on the Fire and I'm With Stupid will heretofore be known as Warning Track Power. The name change was completed several months ago in consultations between team president Kevin Kurtt (Edina, Minn.), general manager Jeff Keiser (Avon, Conn.) and third base coach Steve Geller (Port Jefferson, N.Y.).

"Jeff, Steve and I just felt it was time to move this franchise in a new direction," Kurtt said from a press conference at Tony's Diner. "It's time to put the Boom Goes the Dynamite era to bed. The last two seasons have been dreadful and we really didn't want to sully the Boom name that garnered such acclaim after back-to-back CSC Championship seasons in 2005 and 2006.

"And really, anybody that watched the team's performance last season knows that we just weren't living up to our name. I mean, Boom? Dynamite? That squad resembled neither of those things. We decided to give this team a name that more aptly describes its play on the field. We are now Warning Track Power."

Looking at Boom's 2008 campaign, it seems the new moniker really does match the team's play on the field. According to the 2008 statistics provided by pitching coach Jim Strick (Combined Locks, Wis.), Boom hit a measly four home runs (three officially) and 18 triples in 18 games last season. Those four round-trippers came from three players - Keiser (2), Kevin Noth (1) and Geller (1, unofficially). Meanwhile, according to the Society for American Baseball Research (SABR), Boom players hit balls to the warning track an astounding 4.35 times per game last season.

"We're a team chock full of aging veterans with diminished ability to hit for power," Keiser said. "Nearly all of us are guilty of it, but there is no better example of this team's sudden lack of power than Kurtt. That guy used to hit balls for miles when we played in CSC. Now, he's like Ichiro out there. Single here. Double there. And once in a while he'll hit to the warning track. He blames the loss of 'pop' in our bats, but he, like many on this team, is getting old, slow and weak."

While Keiser is quick to point out Kurtt's sagging power numbers, it should be noted that Boom's female contingent of players displayed outstanding power last season and shouldn't be grouped in with such aging veterans like Kurtt, Noth, Geller and Strick. Standouts Cathy Behr (Willmar, Minn.), Meghan Potter (Hibbing, Minn.) and Alyssa Downing (Taunton, Minn.) all displayed outstanding power in 2008, belting several balls to the fence and proving that Warning Track Power really is an apt name for this team.

Warning Track Power will likely begin its season on Tuesday, April 28. Stay tuned for details.

Franchise History
2002: Low Expectations

(President: Aron "Rusty" Potter, General Manager Heather Potter)

2003: Gas on the Fire

(President: Chris Bergren, General Manager: Kevin Kurtt)

2004: I'm With Stupid

(President: Chris Bergren, General Manager: Kevin Kurtt)

2005: Boom Goes the Dynamite

(President: Steve Geller, General Manager: Steve Geller)

CSC CHAMPIONS

2006: Boom Goes the Dynamite

(President: Steve Geller, General Manager: Steve Geller)

CSC CHAMPIONS

2007: Boom Goes the Dynamite

(President: Jeff Keiser, General Manager: Jeff Keiser)

2008: Boom Goes the Dynamite

(President: Kevin Kurtt, General Manager: Jeff Keiser, Manager: Michelle Train)

2009: Warning Track Power

(President: Kevin Kurtt, General Manager: Jeff Keiser, Manager: Michelle Train)

Wild Fan Taunted for Tucking in Jersey

This article appears in the Feb. 19, 2009, edition of Let's Play Hockey.

SAINT PAUL – As a group, fans of the Minnesota Wild take their hockey seriously. They’re a knowledgeable and passionate bunch. It appears, however, that some followers of the NHL franchise have taken their love for the Wild and the game of hockey a bit too far.

According to reports out of the Xcel Energy Center, fan Chris Lagasse (Crookston, Minn.) received a healthy dose of verbal harassment from a sizable group of die-hard Wild fans at a recent game at the St. Paul arena. Reportedly, Lagasse had to ask for security assistance from ushers in the second period of the Valentine’s Day game vs. Ottawa when a group of fans heckled the 24-year-old graphic designer for tucking in his replica Derek Boogaard jersey.

“My wife and I were enjoying the game when out of nowhere this group of fans in our section started yelling at me to untuck my jersey,” Lagasse said. “They were merciless. They had half the upper deck chanting, ‘Untuck your jersey,’ followed by the familiar ‘clap, clap, clap-clap-clap.’”

Witnesses report that Lagasse was standing more often than most fans during the game, apparently trying to fire up the Wild with motivational cheers after the team’s three-goal lead started fading in the second period.

“In the first period, I hardly noticed the tucked-in jersey guy,” Section 210 fan Bryan Maus said. “But then, the Wild started going in the tank in the second and he was constantly on his feet, trying to get the fans to cheer ‘Let’s go, Wild’ and stuff like that. Nobody paid much attention to him until they noticed he had his jersey tucked into his Dockers.

“Then the proverbial gloves came off. It started with just a couple of guys yelling at him to untuck his jersey. By the end of the second period, almost half the section was hurling insults and the occasional box of popcorn at the guy. I can’t say he deserved it, but c’mon, who in their right mind thinks a tucked-in hockey jersey looks good?”

Though he received a healthy dose of grief from fellow Wild fans, Lagasse was unapologetic for his wardrobe choice.

“I was taking my wife out to celebrate Valentine’s Day with a little dinner at Fuji Ya followed by the game. I wanted to class up my look a little bit, so I tucked in my jersey. She’s always bothering me to tuck my shirt in and brush my teeth before I go to work, so I just thought she’d be happy with me if I tucked in the jersey for a night out on the town. Boy, did that backfire.”

According to the incident report filed at the arena, ushers were called to Section 210 for fan assistance during the second period. Usher Rob Swoverland was the first on the scene.

“It was an ugly situation. Mr. Lagasse looked like a complete idiot, and if I wasn’t working at the time, I would have probably taunted him, too. After a few near-misses by thrown cups of beer, I finally convinced him to untuck his jersey. But he wasn’t happy about it. His wife, however, was relieved.”

According to Lagasse’s wife, Megan, the tucked-in jersey fiasco wasn’t the first time that Lagasse has been the subject of teasing from fans at a sporting event.

“We go to a lot of Twins games in the summer and, despite the fact that he’s 24 years old, Chris insists on bringing his glove to every game. I understand catching a foul ball is a thrill, but we have season tickets in the upper deck above the left field foul pole. That’s an area no foul ball has ever, or will ever, reach. I love Chris with all of my heart, but what guy over the age of 12 brings his glove to a baseball game?”

Colorblind Hockey Player Keeps Going Offsides

This article appears in the Dec. 11, 2008, edition of Let's Play Hockey.

BLAINE, MINN. – Area hockey player Geoff Kaiser picked up the sport a mere three months ago, but the Plymouth, Minn., native is already considering hanging up the skates for good due to his rare red-blue colorblindness. A forward for the Elsinore Brewery team in the Norris Division of the SuperRink D League, Kaiser has gone offsides a league record 114 times in 16 games this season, apparently because of his inability to discern the difference between the red and blue lines.

Even though Kaiser, 32, wholly understands the rules of hockey, he routinely gets confused as to which lines are which colors, leading to multiple whistles for offsides during nearly every one of Kaiser’s shifts. Just last weekend in a league game against the rival Bourque Chops, Kaiser skated offsides an astonishing six times in one shift.

"Being colorblind has certainly taken a toll on my development as a hockey player," Kaiser said after a game which featured 29 whistles attributed solely to the hapless forward. "It’s just so darn confusing out there on the ice. I mean, what’s red to you is blue to me and vice versa. It’s like bizarro world. How can I be expected to stay onsides when I can’t tell if the line I just crossed was really red or blue?"

In an effort to combat the obvious conflict of Kaiser’s visual disability with the rules of hockey, Elsinore Brewery teammates have gone to great lengths to solve the maddening problem. Team captain Mike Lunderbergh thought he found the solution upon finishing his box of Fruity Pebbles late last month.

"I’m just polishing off a box of my favorite cereal when I notice something amid the crumbs," Lunderbergh said. "There it was. The solution to all of our problems – 3-D glasses. It seemed like a great idea and it was to a certain extent. The glasses solved the red line-blue line problem, but it sure did a number of Geoff’s depth perception. He wasn’t going offsides anymore, but he was constantly running into the boards. Back to the drawing boards, I guess."

When the 3-D glasses experiment failed, the Elsinore Brewery squad tried several other tactics to handle the issue, including hypnosis, behavior modification, looking into retinal transplants and playing Geoff only when they had a faceoff in the offensive zone. When all those strategies failed, the team turned to league director Sam Lombardo.

"The Elsinore Brewery team came to me with a drastic suggestion to help rid the league of the offsides epidemic that has plagued it since Kaiser started playing hockey," Lombardo said. "Lunderbergh asked the rink manager to re-paint our lines in more Kaiser-friendly colors like green and orange. That just wasn’t going to happen. We’d be the laughingstock of the ice arena world."

The majority of Kaiser’s teammates have been nothing but supportive as Kaiser has battled his colorblindness on the ice. Some Elsinore Brewery players, however, seem to be losing patience.

"Listen, I like Geoff. I respect Geoff. I just don’t understand Geoff," veteran defenseman Karl Coughlin said. "How hard is it to figure out that the center line is red and the other two lines are blue? Seriously, I’ve had just about enough of this. If he doesn’t quit, I quit."

Other team members have taken a more pragmatic, look-on-the-bright-side approach to the problems that Kaiser has brought to the ice.

"I’m as annoyed by all the whistles as the next guy, but I’ll tell you this, I’m getting really good at taking faceoffs," center Stefan Gellar said.

Kaiser claims he didn’t anticipate the impact his visual disability would have on the Elsinore Brewery team and the SuperRink D League.

"I really didn’t expect my colorblindness to be a problem in hockey," Kaiser said. "I mean, it’s never really been an issue before...aside from my short-lived career as a high school quarterback when I passed to the wrong team because I thought they’re wearing blue when they were really wearing red. Oh, and every four years during election time, the whole red state-blue state thing gets really confusing. Come to think of it, maybe the reason I get pulled over all the time for running red lights has something to do with me having trouble seeing red. I guess I should have seen this coming."

Lunderbergh has called a team meeting to address the future of Kaiser on the Elsinore Brewery team. League officials are anxiously awaiting the team’s decision.

"As officials, we need to stay as impartial as possible," linesman Jim Backlin said. "But the sooner Kaiser is done as a hockey player, the better. I’ve gone through 14 whistles this season. My whistle budget is through the roof."

2008 Boom Goes the Dynamite Team Awards

Shane Sanderfeld Memorial MVP: Jeff Keiser and Kevin Kurtt (runner-up: Jim Strick)
- Comments on Keiser: "The team’s Jack of All Trades and most consistent run producer through the long, grinding season." "Had the only two home runs of the year, and along with Kevin Kurtt was the most consistent hitter until a late season funk."
- Comments on Kurtt: "Team’s most consistent offensive and defensive player."
- Also receiving votes: Cathy Behr ("Brought her lunch pail to work every game. Played through injuries. Brought new bat."), Matt Slieter ("Nearly flawless in the field/good hitter despite his refusal to try for extra bases."), Michelle Train ("She managed egos and diverse personalities and still put a winning product on the field.")

Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl Playoff MVP: N/A
- Comments on N/A: "Nobody deserves this award. We stunk." "We didn’t have playoffs, did we?" "There was no postseason, and we need to find a league that has one so slow-starting veterans like Noth and myself can know when our bats need to start to heat up. You can’t expect us to be consistent the whole year." "A Playoff MVP? Ahh no…" "We would have to win some games for a Playoff MVP"
- Also receiving votes: Sam Lambardo (aka Jim Lombardi) ("for encouraging us to sign up for two tournaments which were later cancelled due to lack of interest, resulting in mass confusion on how much money the Boom front office had spent in 2008."

Duffy’s Pizza Unsung Hero Award: Alyssa Downing, Steve Geller, Ryan Maus, Casey Kurtt
- Comments on Downing: "Quietly one of the team’s most consistent on-base threats."
- Also receiving votes: Meghan Potter ("Led team in RBI and was dogged all year for lack of hustle. This applies more towards the first session. We caught a glimpse of a Potter who is into the game, can hit and field. I think it is time for Train to figure how to pick and choose the right spots to use a motivated Potter."), Emily Slieter, Jim Strick, Michelle Train ("Perhaps an MVP candidate considering her absence created all kinds of confusion in making out a lineup and figuring out who goes where."), Emily Wood ("Quietly racked up great numbers both at the plate and on the mound/didn’t get nearly the amount of press that Kurtt, Keiser, Geller and Noth got."

Victory Sports Silver Stick Award: Kevin Kurtt (runner-up: Matt Slieter)
- Comments on Kurtt: "Solely cuz he won the batting title…now if he could just find a little of the power he had during the CSC days." "He had the highest batting average didn’t he? Next year we need a real official scorer so we can get a legit feel as to how everyone really hit this year.
- Comment on Slieter: "A smooth stroke that packed power and finesse to the opposite field."
- Also receiving votes: Steve Geller ("This aging hurler made like Babe Ruth after forsaking the mound, putting forth a productive season at the plate. Kudos, Steve.", Cathy Behr, Jeff Keiser, Meghan Potter.

Lady Byng Sportsmanship Award: Emily Wood (runner-up: Ryan Maus)
- Comments on Wood: None
- Comments on Maus: "Based solely on his ever-present smile." "Plays the game the way it should be played."
- Also receiving votes: Lisa Hardy, Jeff Keiser, Andrea Smith, Jim Strick ("Would have a clean record of great sportsmanship except the final game when he argued strikes with the bad ump."), Kristine Yorde, Maggie, N/A

Garry Bowman Leadership Award: Michelle Train and Kevin Kurtt (runner-up: Jeff Keiser)
- Comment on Train: "Put everything into her new role as team manager/her putting together inning-by-inning lineups was above and beyond the call of duty."
- Comments on Kurtt: "Where would this franchise be without his tireless efforts? No where, that’s where." "No greater leader than someone who can spend time finding 64 people to seed and place in a bracket and then coordinate voting to determine who 'goes Boom the most.'"
- Comment on Keiser: "Keiser was the closest thing to a leader on a team without one this year. Bring back Coughlin. Did I just say that, don’t ever tell him I said that."
- Also receiving votes: Lisa Hardy ("After Jeff embarrassed himself at the meeting at homeplate."), Jim Strick

Emily Wood Team Spirit Award: Emily Wood (runner-up: Kevin Noth)
- Comments on Wood: "Always a sparkplug" "Who else?" "It’s in the title!"
- Also receiving votes: Kevin Noth-Kevin Kurtt-Steve Geller-Jeff Keiser ("The only ones who showed for every game.", Lisa Hardy, Steve Geller ("Never missed a game despite playing in two leagues."

Fox 9 News Courage and Love of the Game Award: Steve Geller and Cathy Behr (runners-up: Ryan Maus, Andrea Smith)
- Comments on Geller: None
- Comments on Behr: "Amputated a finger and still played, and also played through getting beaned from the outfield early in the year trying to stretch a double into a triple. Ouch." "Taking one off the neck and playing without a fingernail!"
- Comment on Maus: "Seriously always smiling."
- Also receiving votes: Matt Slieter ("Overcame spousal restraints to post a spectacular debut year."), Jeff Keiser

Potbelly Sandwich Works Most Improved Player: Ryan Maus (runner-up: Kristine Meghan Potter)
- Comment on Maus: "Might be the only person who hit better in the fall than during the spring"
- Comment on Potter: "RBI machine came through when needed most."
- Also receiving votes: Lisa Hardy, Michelle Train, Kristine Yorde, Nobody ("Everyone got worse, that's why we sucked.", Did you see this team?, Who knows? Wasn't a member last season.

Emily Wickstrom Grit/Determination Award: Cathy Behr (runners-up: Kevin Noth, Andrea Smith)
- Comments on Behr: "Overcame numerous bumps, cuts and bruises due to her rough-and-tumble style of play." "Got hit in the neck by a throw and had a nail ripped off her hand and bled all over the place."
- Also receiving votes: Alyssa Downing, Steve Geller, Lisa Hardy ("Doesn't back down to anyone"), Casey Kurtt

Tory Kukowski Memorial Rookie of the Year: Jim Strick (runner-up: Matt Slieter)
- Comments on Strick: None
- Comments on Slieter: "Emerged as one of team’s most dependable cornerstones." "Although Slieter is as much a rookie as Roy Hobbs was in the Natural" "Anyone who can win the Boom Bracket in his first year is an easy choice"
- Also receiving votes: Ryan Maus

PPI Sports Most Aggressive Baserunner/Hustler Award: Steve Geller (runner-up: Alyssa Downing)
Comments on Geller: "Who else would slide as much as he does?" "No explanation necessary"
Comments on Downing: "This was Geller’s award to lose and he did just that by running into too many tags on the bases"
Also receiving votes: Kevin Kurtt ("I would put myself on here, but when you get thrown out 75 percent of the time, I don’t think you deserved this honor"), Meghan Potter

Tony's Diner Comeback Player of the Year: Cathy Behr (runners-up: Lisa Hardy, Meghan Potter)
Comments on Behr: None
Comments on Hardy: "After some struggles in ’07 she bounced back to post a solid overall season"
Comments on Potter: "Despite accusations of lackadaisical effort she did lead the team in RBI, and was money with runners in scoring position until she just gave up in the final two games. I think in the future we need more pre-game barbeques and more weeks off to keep Potter motivated for an entire season."
Also receiving votes: Steve Geller, Matt Slieter, Emily Wood ("Recovered from a pre-season injury to become the team’s best female hitter during the fall."

Jeannie/Cowboy Bob Superfan Award: Kieran Kurtt and The Kurtt Family (runner-up: Pam Hardy)
- Comment on Kieran: "Team’s record with him in attendance speaks for itself."
- Comment on Kurtt Family: "Loyal even during a horrendous Boom season."
- Also receiving votes: Laura Kurtt, Cathy's Guy, AVP

Goldy’s Gang Mascot of the Year: Maggie (runner-up: Cooper)
- Comment on Maggie: "Watch out for your sandwich Keiser!!"
- Also receiving votes: AVP

Burrito Loco Best 10-Day Acquisition Award: Bobbi Ross (runner-up: Doug Vose)
- Comments on Ross: "What an athlete!" "If management has any clue what they are doing they will lock her up to a long-term contract"
- Comment on Vose: "Five-for-five doesn’t get much better"
- Also receiving votes: Michelle Train

Nick Joos/M. Lochrem Biggest Disappointment “Award”: Kevin Noth
- Comments on Noth: "Playoff performance last season proved merely a mirage." "Has anyone had a bigger rollercoaster career. We should have to pay money to watch the ups and downs that makes up a typical summer softball season for Kevin Noth."
- Also receiving votes: Garry Bowman, Kyle Coughlin, Bobbi Ross ("I don’t know who that is, but I’ll put my vote there"), Matt Slieter ("For grounding out 4-3 when he had a chance to end the Green Giants win streak"), Andrea Smith, The server in the bar area at Majors, The female umpire that Keiser rightly insulted

Cy Young, brought to you by Icy Hot: Jim Strick (runners-up: Steve Geller, Jeff Keiser)
- Comments on Strick: "He was downright tremendous in the circle, and should lead Boom into next season " "Finally a pitcher who wants to be on the team mound and is a team player."
- Comments on Keiser: "Not because he deserves it, just better than Geller and Strick"
- Also receiving votes: Meghan Potter

Gold Glove, presented by Isotoner: Kevin Kurtt, Steve Geller, Emily Wood, Matt Slieter, Cathy Behr, Jeff Keiser
- Also receiving votes: Jim Strick, Alyssa Downing, Ryan Mays, Andrea Smith

Gregg Shimanski Executive of the Year: Jeff Keiser and Michelle Train (Runner-up: Nobody. This team was a joke.)
- Comment on Keiser: "Results weren’t there but he worked his ass off."
- Comment on Train: "Exemplified the team in that her fire and intensity were strong at the start of the year, but faltered down the stretch."

Marvin Geller Lifetime Achivement Award: Steve Geller and Jeff Keiser
- Comments on Geller: "One of the Boom all-time greats, and a model of what we all should strive to become."
- Also receiving votes: Cathy Behr ("Good to have a new and improved version of Behr back. Looking forward to adding Teeks, Dom and Pablo next year, and shipping out old useless veterans like Geller, Noth and Slieter."), Casey Kurtt ("A promising softball career came to much too early end due to annoying teammates."), Kevin Noth ("For being the oldest member of Boom."), Bob Swoverland, Emily Wood ("As rumors swirl she may retire.")

Bobby Z’S Kodak Moments of the Year:
• Steve Geller going opposite field
• Steve Geller’s home run that wasn’t
• Jim Strick’s late season shutout performance
• Emily Wood stab to ice game
• Ryan Maus’s great outfield catches
• Jeff Keiser’s two home run game, quite possibly a record that will never be duplicated by our lame group of slap hitters.
• Jim Strick’s 3-2 victory, quite possibly the most pathetic game ever played in Boom history, but still the best pitching performance ever.
• Doug Vose’ head first slide.
• Kevin Noth hitting the first fenced home run in Boom history.
• Meghan Potter going 13-for-13 with runners in scoring position.
• Jim Strick tossing a 2-hitter.
• Meghan Potter hosting the Boom party.
• Lisa Hardy making opposing pitchers work.
• Bobbi Ross diving back into home plate after running past it

The Steak Knife Bloopers of the Year:
• Susan H. Keller’s incredibly poor umpiring
• Jeff Keiser putting his foot in his mouth to Susan H. Keller’s son
• Steve Geller body slam/slide/flop into second base
• Jeff Keiser telling the ump his mom is horrible
• Steve Geller’s slides into second and third
• Bobbi Ross playing Canadian Rules Softball
• Cathy Behr taking a hard grounder to a fingernail
• Matt Slieter turning a home run into a double.
• Alyssa and Dre running into each other in the outfield, no play represented the season better.
• Steve Geller getting thrown out on the basepaths on numerous occasions.
• Kevin Noth’s annual strikeout (only this time caught looking).
• Jeff Keiser overrunning first and getting tagged out and the ump actually making her first savvy call of the year.
• Highway robbery by the bad ump when we doubled off a player that would have been final out of the inning, leading to a big inning and our worst loss of the year to nine high-school aged punk kids.
• Kevin Noth?
• Cameron Noth hitting on Emily Slieter.

Most Awards Won
Steve Geller 5
Cathy Behr 4
Jeff Keiser 4
Kevin Kurtt 4
Emily Wood 3
Ryan Maus 2
Jim Strick 2
Michelle Train 2
Alyssa Downing 1
Casey Kurtt 1
Kieran Kurtt 1
The Kurtt Family 1
Maggie 1
Nobody 1
Kevin Noth 1
Bobbi Ross 1
Matt Slieter 1

Most Times Runner-Up
Jeff Keiser 2
Ryan Maus 2
Kevin Noth 2
Meghan Potter 2
Matt Slieter 2
Andrea Smith 2
Cooper 1
Alyssa Downing 1
Stebe Geller 1
Lisa Hardy 1
Pam Hardy 1
Jim Strick 1
Doug Vose 1

No Votes Received
Kristine Yorde
LFK
Sara Foreman
Katie Fornasiere
Tory Kukowski
Beth Kurtt
Jim Kurtt
Cameron Noth
Lori Noth
Kelly Slieter
Laura's Tall Guy