We Dream of Someday Building Our Very Own Wiffle Ball Park

What is it about Wiffle Ball that just seems to conjure up pleasant memories of childhood days gone by? Days when organized sports didn't dominate the summer schedule. Days when the most fun was had by making up games with your friends in the backyard. There's something magical about Wiffle Ball that we can't quite put our finger on.

Whatever it is, the above video and this photo gallery from a story that appeared in the Star Tribune (and video and corresponding web page) has made us put one more thing on our list of things to do before we die. We now pledge to build a Wiffle Ball field in our yard at some point in the not-too-distant future (we live in a townhouse now, so we don't technically own our yard...otherwise we'd be designing the field dimensions as we speak). And we'll start a Wiffle Ball league. As long as you can walk, you can play. Start forming your four-player teams now.

We don't, however, have any aspirations (nor chance) of being able to throw a Wiffle Ball like these guys:

The Boom Box Score - Skeet Skeet 18, Boom Goes the Dynamite 13

Boom Goes the Dynamite moved its St. Louis Park Mixed C League record to 2-2 with an embarrassing 18-13 loss to Skeet Skeet on Tuesday. win over Absolute Bail Bonds on last night. Leading 13-10 entering the top of the fifth, Boom apparently decided as a team to forget how to catch and throw a softball, allowing Skeet Skeet to plate eight runs. The scoring rally was augmented by a flat-out godawful call by USSSA umpire Susan H. Keller. Mentally fried from the beatdown suffered in the top half of the inning, Boom failed to mount any sort of rally in the bottom of the fifth to hand Skeet its first win.

Boom looks to get back in the win column against The Chiefs on June 3 at 6:15 p.m., at Dakota Park West.

Game notes from the above box score (season stats are below and also available at slowpitchstats.com):
* Duffy's Pizza Three Stars of the Game: 1. Cathy Behr, 2. Doug Vose, 3. Meghan Potter.
* The following Boom players committed one or more errors: Kevin Kurtt, Jeff Keiser, Meghan Potter, Kevin Noth, Steve Geller.
* Kevin Kurtt saw his hitting streak come to an end at seven at-bats.
* Cathy Behr posted a 2.000 slugging percentage with her single and triple. Kevin Kurtt followed at 1.333 with a double and a pair of singles.
* Kurtt and Behr recorded Boom's third and fourth sac flies of the year.
* Behr took a ball to the back of her neck while stretching a double into a triple.
* Behr and Keiser recorded their first triples of the season.
* Behr earned her team-leading third Duffy's Pizza Three Stars of the Game accolade.
* Meghan Potter made her first appearance in the infield this season.
* Potter notched her fourth consecutive multi-RBI game.
* Alyssa Downing and Kevin Kurtt failed to record an extra-base hit for the first time this season.
* Steve Geller was the lone Boom player without a hit on the night at 0-for-3.
* Doug Vose went 3-for-3 with 3 RBI in his Boom debut.
* For the first time this season, aging hurler Steve Geller did not allow a home run.
* Geller failed to record a strikeout for the second consecutive game.
* Though he allowed 22 hits and four walks, Geller was only charged with three earned runs.
* Boom has drawn two walks this season, while Boom's opponents have reached base on balls 12 times.
* Geller's strikeout-to-walk ratio stands at 1:3.
* Former Boom Goes the Dynamite "slugger" Tory Kukowski made an appearance as a fan.

The Race That Was Never Run

Approximately four years ago, one of this nation's most significant sporting events was conceived during lunch in Dinkytown on the campus of the University of Minnesota. Billed as a showdown between former college track athlete turned athletic communications staffer with little to no life skills Shane Sandersfeld and former very mediocre high school track athlete turned athletic communications staffer with grandiose opinions of his athletic abilities Kevin Kurtt, the event came to be known as the Race of the Decade. Then the Race of the Century. Then the Race of the Millenium. Then Just Run & Be Done.

That race was never run. Here's a brief history of The Race...

Race of the Decade
- Originally set for May 18, 2004
- Came about when Sandersfeld claimed he could beat anybody in the office in any race over any distance
- Kurtt called him out on his claim
- Race distance was set at 400 meters - a distance both Sandersfeld and Kurtt ran in high school
- John Miller Enterprises signs on as chief promoter of Race of the Decade
- Victory Sports agrees to broadcast Race of the Decade...tape-delayed
- Race of the Decade PR Director Jeff Keiser creates and distributes promotional materials to BFAB staff
- Hype reaches an apex a few days before the race
- A survey is conducted in the office to determine who will win, based on a number of factors (weather, cardiovascular strength, experience, girlfriend, etc.)
- Sandersfeld is installed as the pre-race favorite by a small margin
- Then-Gopher running back Laurence Maroney backs Sandersfeld as his favorite
- The day before the race, Kurtt decides to test his fitness by running a 400 around the Edina Community Center track
- Kurtt runs a decent time, but comes up lame the next morning with a pulled calf muscle
- Controversy ensues when the race is postponed due to injury
- Sandersfeld claims Kurtt is faking it
- Maroney calls Kurtt a quitter
- John Miller Enterprises pulls out of The Race of the Decade, never to return
- Victory Sports remains steadfast in their dedication to broadcast the event
- A year goes by

Race of the Century
- Originally set for May 18, 2005
- Keiser, in conjunction with Nick Joos Studios, revives the race, renaming it the Race of the Century
- Despite not in existence any more, Victory Sports stays committed to televising the event
- Keiser re-creates promotional materials for the race
- Marc Ryan signed as official timer for the race
- A new survey is conducted in the office to determine who will win - Kurtt is the runaway winner of the survey as voters cited Sandersfeld's poor eating habits and overall lack of quality life skills
- For some reason, May 18, 2005, comes and goes with no race
- Every so often during the summer, the race gets brought up, but fails to materialize into anything
- Idea of a race between Sandersfeld and Kurtt fades away
- Early 2006, Sandersfeld breaks neck

Race of the Millenium
- Despite broken neck, Sandersfeld wants to revive the race upon his return to the office
- More controversy ensues as staffers debate whether or not Sandersfeld running is a good thing given his condition
- Sandersfeld puts the race ahead of his well-being, saying he wants to run just to put the event in the past
- Kurtt wants no part of the race, telling Sandersfeld, "I will not be a part of your death"
- Risk of death, or at the very least paralysis, results in the presumably permanent cancellation of the race

Just Run & Be Done
- Keiser, in conjunction with Mahdi Marketing & Promotions, revives the race, renaming it Just Run & Be Done
- In favor of running, Sandersfeld continues to put the race ahead of his life
- Kurtt mulls it over, still not wanting to be a part of Sandersfeld's death
- Big Ten Network, in an effort to fill the massive holes in its broadcast schedule between actual present-day sporting events, signs on as the official television partner of the race
- Former U of M employee and current BTN staffer Kyle Coughlin named sole talent for broadcast
- Kurtt agrees to race, knowing full well it's never going to happen

Boom Goes the Dynamite Makes Pages of Tabloid Rag Again

For the second time this season, Boom Goes the Dynamite has appeared in an issue of Let's Play Softball/Let's Play Baseball. Boom, featuring photos of game 3 star Cathy Behr (Willmar, Minn.) and veteran utility player Kevin Noth (Norwalk, Wis.), graces page 13 of the May 22 edition of "Minnesota's premier softball publication" (phrase used courtesy of Ryan Maus).

Boom originally appeared in the April 24 edition of the tabloid rag (link). Hmm, we wonder who the editor of that publication is...

The Boom Box Score - Boom Goes the Dynamite 21, Absolute Bail Bonds 20

Boom Goes the Dynamite moved its St. Louis Park Mixed C League record to 2-1 with a nailbiting 21-20 win over Absolute Bail Bonds on last night. Trailing by one run entering the bottom of the seventh, Kevin Kurtt (Edina, Minn.) led off the inning with a triple to complete a 4-for-4 night. Meghan Potter (Hibbing, Minn.) drove Kurtt in for the tying run and was followed on the basepaths with a single by Jeff Keiser (Avon, Ct.). Keiser’s single was his third hit of the night, following his first two career home runs. The stage was set for Cathy Behr (Willmar, Minn.) to cap a 5-for-5, four RBI night with a liner to left center to score Potter from second for the game-winning run.

Boom looks to start a winning streak against Skeet Skeet on May 27 at 6 p.m., at Dakota Park East.

Game notes from the above box score (season stats are below and also available at slowpitchstats.com):
* Cathy Behr's five-hit game set a 2008 season record.
* Behr recorded her second career walk-off game-winning hit. She had one three years ago with the Gas On The Fire.
* Jeff Keiser's two home runs and five RBI set 2008 Boom season records.
* Jeff Keiser recorded the Boom family of franchises' first-ever two-home run game.
* Kevin Kurtt has six consecutive hits, tying Boom's season-high
(Alyssa Downing).
* Keiser posted a 2.250 slugging percentage with his two dingers and one single. Kevin Kurtt followed at 1.750 with a triple, double and pair of singles.
* Kevin Kurtt nearly injured Andrea Smith in the on-deck circle with a wayward, haphazard toss of his bat after hitting a double in the fourth innning, striking the star third baseman in the right shin. X-rays were negative on the shin after the game.
* Kevin Noth maimed the Absolute Bail Bonds pitcher with a screaming liner, forcing her from the mound. Showing no care or remorse, Noth proceeded to take second base on an errant throw after her teammates were clearly shaken.
* Andrea Smith recorded Boom's second sac fly of the year. Steve Geller has scored on both sac flys this season.
* Alyssa Downing's three-game, six at-bat hitting/on-base streak came to an end as the rookie utility player went 2-for-4.
* Downing hit her team-leading second triple of the season, only to get tagged out between third and home on a baserunning gaffe.
* In his first action as a Boom member, Matt Slieter went 2-for-3 with three RBI on a bases-clearing triple. Slieter was administered oxygen immediately.
* Boom recorded a team record four triples.
* Aging hurler Steve Geller allowed a grand slam home run for the third consecutive game.
* Geller has now allowed five home runs in his last three starts.
* Geller failed to record a strikeout for the first time this season.
* Boom has drawn one walk this season (Andrea Smith last night), while Booms opponents have reach base on balls eight times.
* Geller's strikeout-to-walk ratio stands at 1:2.
* Geller hit a home run in the bottom of the fifth, but the round-tripper was disallowed due to Boom exceeding its home run limit (2).
* Boom Goes the Dynamite enjoyed its largest fan base of the season as Katie Fornasiere, and Jim, Beth, Laura and Kieran Kurtt witnessed last night's win.
* Maggie made the first appearance by a mascot this season.
* With the win, Boom Goes the Dynamite earned an article in this week's Let's Play Softball. On page 13, Cathy Behr and Kevin Noth are featured with photographs in Minnesota's premier softball publication.

All Nude...Tastefully Done

Some of you may remember this classic ESPN the Magazine spot featuring former Minnesota Timberwolves teammates Kevin Garnett and Stephon Marbury. We're not NBA fans around here at all, but we remember how excited we were to have Garnett and Marbury together back in the late 90s. Sadly, nothing came of the partnership except this hilarious ad. Plus, ESPN the Magazine has done neither a swimsuit nor an all-nude (but tastefully done) issue.

That's important...very important...to be tasteful.

The Boom Box Score - Green Giants 19, Boom Goes the Dynamite 18

Boom Goes the Dynamite suffered its first loss of the season on May 13, falling 19-18 to the Green Giants in a five-inning game at Dakota Park East. Down 19-8 going into the bottom of the fourth, Boom rallied with nine runs to pull within two. Boom then went 1-2-3 in the top of the fifth, setting up the deciding at-bat in the bottom half of the inning. With one out, ailing first baseman Kevin Kurtt (Edina, Minn.) knocked in aging hurler Steve Geller (Port Jefferson, N.Y.) with a single to cut the Giants' lead to one. With team sparkplug Emily Wood (Wausau, Wis.) on second and Kurtt on first, Comeback Player of the Year candidate Casey Kurtt (Lakeland, Minn.) came to bat with the chance to play the hero. Unfortunately, the dimimuitive utility player/mom grounded out to perennial Giant All-Star third baseman Sam Nzigamasabo who proceeded to turn a 5-3 double play to end the rally and keep the Green Giants undefeated at 2-0. Boom (1-1) looks to bounce back this week against Absolute Bail Bonds on May 20 at 7 p.m., at Dakota Park East.

Some quick notes from the above box score (season stats are below and also available at slowpitchstats.com):
* Kevin Noth (Norwalk, Wis.) hit the first official home run in the history of the Boom Goes the Dynamite franchise. All prior dingers were unofficial as Boom (and its defunct franchises) had not played on a field with fences until this season.
* Alyssa Downing (Marshall, Minn.) hit Boom's first triple of the season, using some questionable baserunning to make it to third base.
* Not a single fan or mascot attended the game.
* Despite earning the loss, Geller's K-to-walk ratio was 2:1.
* Geller has now allowed three home runs in his last two starts.
* Kevin Kurtt hit the first sacrifice fly of the season.
* For the second straight game, Meghan Potter (Hibbing, Minn.) led Boom with three RBI.
* Potter recorded the first game of the season with multiple extra-base hits.
* Downing owns a perfect 1.000 batting average, reaching base in all six of her at-bats. She is followed by Kevin Kurtt (.857), Potter (.714) and Jim Strick (.714).
* Boom has not drawn a walk this season.
* On the season, Geller has struck out eight, while allowing only four walks.

Happy Cinco de Mayo. Now Beware of Flying Drums

America and Mexico may have their differences (NAFTA, immigration, etc.), but are we really all that different? To wit:

Fourth of July in America: "What better way to celebrate the birth of your country than by blowing up a small part of it?"



Cinco de Mayo in Mexico: "What better way to celebrate your country's pride and heritage than by hurling a bass drum at a riot cop in the stands during a soccer game?"

And Now, Drunk Monkeys

Happy Cinco de Mayo, Heavyfooters. We're not sure why our Hispanic friends get all fired up over May 5, but then again, why do the Irish (and Irish wannabes) get all juiced on St. Patrick's Day? Because there will undoubtedly by plenty of imbibing of Dos Equis and Corona tonight, we issue the following alcohol-related documentary. So, without futher ado, drunk monkeys.